As some of my Sparkfriends know, my son is an addict/alcoholic. He went through outpatient rehab and seemed to be doing well. He got a job and made some new friends. Then he lost his job because he couldn't keep up with the pace( bussing in a busy, touristy restaurant). About two weeks after that we discovered he was drinking again. I'm sorry to say we believed him when he said he had it under control. I told him we would not buy his alcohol.
Then one night I got up around 1 in the morning to use the bathroom and saw his car was gone. When he got home, he couldn't figure out how to unlock the front door. He was coherent, but had no memory of a conversation he had with his father an hour before. He went to his room and passed out.
The next day he was very hung over. I told him we would talk when he felt better, but I took his car keys.
It was another 24 hours before we could talk. DH and I said no driving after sundown (which is when he usually drinks). We also told him no drinking at all if he wanted to continue to stay with us.
Friday was his two week anniversary of being sober again. We were considering giving him back nighttime driving privileges ( he is 21, but we own his car). Yesterday he went out to buy dinner. He was back for about a half hour and chatting with us when he said, "Oh, I forgot I left my jacket in my car." I was immediately suspicious.
Of course, when he came back in the house, he was carrying his jacket rolled up like a football. I let him take it in his room, then when he was prepping his dinner I asked him what was in the jacket. He told me he had bought a beer a few nights ago and left it in his car until last night. I told him to bring it to me. He said he used his own money. I told him too bad and if he couldn't follow the rules he can't stay. He told me to go in his room and get the beer. I did and it was ice cold, which of course means he had just bought it that night. I called him out on his lie and reminded him again about following the rules.
This young man has no job, almost no friends and is pretty seriously depressed but is now refusing help. I know it's only a matter of time before he drinks since he said he doesn't understand why he can't. Do I wait until he drinks and then throw him out or is last night the last straw? The thought of leaving him homeless is horrifying but the stress he is putting on me, DH and our relationship is also not okay.
Thanks for letting me vent and if anyone has been through this and has some advice, I would appreciate it.