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My one year journeyversary

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

July 1 marked a year since I started on this journey again. I can't believe that for 52 weeks (now more) I have consistently worked toward improving my health and lost 50lbs. ! I've seen some amazing transformations on here after a year. Mine is not quite so dramatic but it's still there. I decided slow and steady was the best route for me.

I took these photos July 1. They are next to pictures of me from July 2015. I don't even recognize myself. I've got so much more to go but I'm comfortable with that.

So in reflecting on my year, there are some things I have figured out and others I'm still working to get right.

The good:

* I finally broke into the 200s in March. OMG!!!!! So excited. My weight hast stayed the same for about a month but I'm so happy to be out of the 300s. It was such a great feeling.

* I love exercise. It has saved me in so many ways. Not just physically but mentally. I never realized how much anxiety I have until I started paying attention to how I eat. Some people eat when they are sad or mad but I eat when I'm anxious. It's also the reason I have insomnia. Exercising every day has alleviated this more than any medication ever has. Sometimes I want to cry because I'm just so thankful to finally be able to control my anxiety.

* I can almost shop in regular clothes for my tops. Sometimes I can get into an XL and my workout pants (XXL) are just a tadbit to large. Oh my gosh what a relief this will be. It's so frustrating to be limited when it comes to buying clothing and also the cost involved.

* Sometimes weeks pass when I don't lose a single pound. This used to get me so down and I would feel like a failure. I was living or dying by that number. Now I have faith. I know if I'm consistent, the scale will continue to go down in the future.

* Which brings me to something else...I've learned to appreciate non-scale victories. There are so shopping in regular clothes, getting off the floor easier, less lower back and knee pain, sitting more comfortable everywhere, being able to where heels again, and most importantly...

* I went to the doctor in March and got full blood work done on everything...I'M FRICKIN' HEALTHY AS HECK!!!! My doctor was so impressed with my numbers and results. I'm not diabetic. My good cholesterol was really high and the bad cholesterol low. My heart is good, My liver is good. My thyroid is good. I feel healthy.

Where I struggle:

* My eating habits still kind of suck. I've gotten better at eating more of the good stuff (fruits and veggies) and less of the bad stuff (fried food and sugar) but I still love eating and sometimes I eat too much. I also still love going out to eat with family and friends. I think I may struggle with this always.

* I drink too much. Probably the number one way I sabotage my efforts. It's a struggle. I love beer. My city loves beer. We have so many great breweries here. My friends love beer. We drink too much beer together. So yeah, work in progress in this area.

* My mind and emotions have not caught up to my body. I mean I'm losing weight and everyone is excited and finally noticing but I don't feel thinner some days. I also don't feel like I deserve much of anything. I struggle to believe that I can have and even deserve the things other people have, such as financial security and a loving relationship.

Goals for year number 2:

* I want to try new activities. I always fantasize about joining some organized sports team for fun but haven't worked up the courage. I'm gonna do it this year.

* Drink less!

* Learn how to make more healthy dishes and meals at home.

* Lose more weight.

* Continue working on my mental health, finding ways to control my anxiety and boost my self-esteem.
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