Everything, just everything
Monday, July 11, 2016
Exhausted is the word for this week.
A lot has been happening and a lot took place in this week alone.
A "friend" started saying mean stuff to me and then had the nerve to say I was starting stuff. That was a few days before my sister's surgery.
My sister had her surgery. She was incredibly nervous and we had to keep reminding her that the surgeons do this all of the time and that complications are rare, etc. My dad was able to get the day off so he could go with my mom and sister to the hospital. Meanwhile, I stayed with my other sis. She has an illness of her own. It can only be treated and not cured. She is not autistic but in a way, she has the mind of a 12 year old.
My mom takes care of my grandma and aunt. My grandma stopped being a le to drive a few years ago and is in pain. My aunt is developmentally disabled. My mom drives them to doctor appointments, the store, the post office, and anywhere they need to go. A trip to the grocery store can turn into 4-5 hours and it often does. It's stressful though because my grandma feels that my mm doesn't do enough for her, which is not true at all. While my mom is doing that, I watch my sister.
On top of it, I do not feel well. I have been getting low grade fevers and feeling weak but My thyroid levels are good right now and I'm so close to giving up on doctors. I am tired of fighting.
I know many people go through much more than me but the stress really got to me today. My sister had yo go to the ER because she passed out for a few seconds and hit her head on the sink. :She is okay though. They said it was Vasovagel Syncopy. She was there for 8 hours getting the a CT scan, blood work, x-rats, etc.
I am grateful for my sisters and parents. Sometimes, I just wish there was more in person support. There isn't any other family that we speak with, Some of them would appear if they needed something and then disappear again.
I am hesitant to let people in. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt and be more trusting but that has changed. I would let people in and then somehow, I ended up getting hurt and even when I was open to meeting people, they were not open to getting to know me.
Exhausted is the word for the week.