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My new reality

Saturday, July 09, 2016

July 1st I stopped going to Physical Therapy 5x a week. Started just 2x a week as my insurance deductible started over. Yesterday the therapist finally admitted I was at a plateau.
STUCK, is what I have been calling it for the past 6 weeks. I have not improved, numbers wise since about May 15. I am getting stronger, but my bending and straightening has not improved. I am stuck at 110 degrees, and -5 degrees from straight. This means I will walk with a slight limp... forever. I won't be able to fully bend my knee... forever.

I don't know what to do. The doctor says my motion is too good to risk another surgery, or procedure. I can walk up stairs, down is a challenge. I can ride the recumbent bike, not a regular one or upright bike ad my knee doesn't bend far enough to turn those pedals.
After all the pain and suffering I have gone thru these are not good results.

I can finally walk without a cane, but it is hit and miss. Sitting for 30 min. or more, means it takes me a while to warm up to walking... I stiffen easily, and my new knee makes some weird noises... the Doctor says it is fluid.

My weight has started to creep up again... probably due to the poor me attitude and not controlling my eating, and eating bad things. I have been going to the gym a few times, to make up for not going to therapy, but it just isn't the same. I loathe all the "boring" exercises that I do at therapy, and can't seem to do them on my own with regularity.

Everyone asks if I am better off than before the surgery... I don't know... I can walk without crutches now, but my flexibility is horrible. I do have some pain when walking, but I am hoping it will fade in time. I can straighten out my leg a bit more than before the surgery, but it still isn't straight, which means my Achilles tendonitis is still there. I don't know if I would have done the surgery knowing I would only get these results... I was depressed before, and I still have really bad moments. I think about all the things I want to do and can't. All the things I used to be able to do and won't be able to do again. Very disheartening....

I was never a positive thinker, I usually see what can go wrong, and take steps to make sure it doesn't happen. But the reality is, my body doesn't like this new knee. My immune system is sort of rejecting it. I see a blood doctor on Wed. to see if anything can be done to remedy the situation. I am still swollen, and my whole leg and foot swells when exercising.

Looking for an answer... but I don't think there are any. It is what it is... Bone has grown around this new knee and it is here to stay. The thought of going thru all this again is unimaginable, even if there was something to be done. SO... I have to try an lose some weight... again.. Back to steamed vegetables, no sugary treats. UGH...

Be thankful for your mobility, when it is gone you will really miss it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm so sorry Judy, I know this whole thing has been so frustrating for you. Please don't give up, keep pushing and doing the exercises. emoticon emoticon
    1317 days ago
    1318 days ago
  • 4CYNDI

    I hate hearing that you aren't getting better results. I wish I could do something, anything to help. I also *hate boring PT strength exercises*. I have to make getting them into a game in order to get them done or to reward myself for doing them consistently.

    Good luck as you find your way forward.
    1318 days ago
    Thanks for the comment... Slowly....maybe things will get better?
    1318 days ago
    I clicked like this blog, but in reality I want to cry with you. So very disappointing. I know about the limited mobility. I can get around fine for about 10, maybe 15 on a good day, minutes, and then my legs go numb and get shakey because of pinched nerves in my lower back. So I can commiserate with you. As I told my kids, I don't worry about having another heart attack, although I'll do what I can to prevent one, but I do worry about becoming fully immobile, and that is harder to prevent as I have no control over how much calcification goes into the nerve column of my spine. I surely wish I had some good advice for you, but I don't. All I can do is say I understand your frustration and disappointment. Don't give up. There probably isn't a magic bullet out there for you, but there maybe some slower way to improve. Good luck to you. Keep up the hard work and focus on what you can do and do it well.
    1318 days ago
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