Friday, July 08, 2016
Went on vacay and fell off the wagon. Although on vacation I was balancing lots of swimming and walking up and down stairs ( like a couple miles worth haha) and healthy meals with not the healthiest snacks here and there and drinking a lot of Bellinis, so it was more like head and shoulders above water but still swimming in indulgence.
The worst part is coming home and being a little depressed after my vacation high, and feeling bloated from pms. This caused some lethargy and eating my feelings. Still eating fairly healthy but just over doing it.
I should mention that I am recovering from an eating disorder I have struggled with for roughly 19 years. I am doing it on my own and I will soon celebrate 1 year of my decision to not indulge my urges.
It is not easy and although I haven't physically acted on my ED it is still very present in my thoughts. Right now the weight and size I am currently at makes it very hard not to dive right back in. But I won't. Instead I will keep trying to be compassionate towards myself and be honest and reach out when I'm feeling weak. Hence this post. So I'm going to use this site to get help, but not be in competition with anyone or obsess over doing it constantly, and not be angry when I slip up.
I'm here to feel and look healthy. Not to be skinny, or without cellulite or wrinkles.
I'm here to establish a sense on pride in my health. And I'm here to heal. Thanks :). #recovery #health