Fall Down Seven Times...
Tuesday, July 05, 2016
So, here we go again. ANOTHER day 1. I'm so tired of day ones. They make me feel so bad. Of course I feel like a failure, and I am. I wouldn't have to have yet another day one if I didn't fail the last time. Last year at this time I weighed almost 50 lbs less than I do now. How do you gain 50lbs back in a year? Do you know how bad that makes me feel. Before we left on vacation that year, I weighed in at 229. I hadn't been at 229 since just after my 6 year old was born. I was ecstatic!! Never mind that I reached this weigh in not the most healthy way. (Ever heard of the HCG program? It involves daily injections of HCG into your stomach and a 500 calorie/day diet. Not the best.) I was so happy about my 229 weight. I bought new clothes for the beach, I was exercising most everyday, I felt good. Then, I had a foot injury that sidelined me exercise wise for a while. I stopped my unhealthy weight loss program. Then, I had the most stressful year at work that I have ever had. And that, my friends, is how you gain 50 lbs in a year.
None of my clothes fit now. I'm buying stuff that I don't love to wear just because it's not tight. Every morning when I try to get out of bed, i have excruciating pain in both feet (especially my heels. I've been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis.) My back hurts a lot. I get winded doing basic stuff, like walking up my driveway. How am I supposed to play with my kids when I feel like I can't breathe when I'm just walking? Because I don't feel like going out and doing things, do you know what they are doing right now? Instead of running around and playing outside, they are stuck in the house with me. My weight and unhealthy lifestyle is making me a bad mom, and teaching my children bad habits. I don't want this for them.
So, this is my attempt to get up the eighth time. I've always been a bit on the "all or nothing" side. If I mess up on my eating, I tend to just give up the rest of the day (or week, or month, or...you know.) When I start exercising, I usually try to go way harder than I need to (trying to work out for hours on day 1.) I have to learn baby steps. I think it's the only way to conquer this weight problem I've had since I was little. So, here's to day 1...again.
Fall down seven times, get up eight.