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Fall Down Seven Times...

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

So, here we go again. ANOTHER day 1. I'm so tired of day ones. They make me feel so bad. Of course I feel like a failure, and I am. I wouldn't have to have yet another day one if I didn't fail the last time. Last year at this time I weighed almost 50 lbs less than I do now. How do you gain 50lbs back in a year? Do you know how bad that makes me feel. Before we left on vacation that year, I weighed in at 229. I hadn't been at 229 since just after my 6 year old was born. I was ecstatic!! Never mind that I reached this weigh in not the most healthy way. (Ever heard of the HCG program? It involves daily injections of HCG into your stomach and a 500 calorie/day diet. Not the best.) I was so happy about my 229 weight. I bought new clothes for the beach, I was exercising most everyday, I felt good. Then, I had a foot injury that sidelined me exercise wise for a while. I stopped my unhealthy weight loss program. Then, I had the most stressful year at work that I have ever had. And that, my friends, is how you gain 50 lbs in a year.

None of my clothes fit now. I'm buying stuff that I don't love to wear just because it's not tight. Every morning when I try to get out of bed, i have excruciating pain in both feet (especially my heels. I've been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis.) My back hurts a lot. I get winded doing basic stuff, like walking up my driveway. How am I supposed to play with my kids when I feel like I can't breathe when I'm just walking? Because I don't feel like going out and doing things, do you know what they are doing right now? Instead of running around and playing outside, they are stuck in the house with me. My weight and unhealthy lifestyle is making me a bad mom, and teaching my children bad habits. I don't want this for them.

So, this is my attempt to get up the eighth time. I've always been a bit on the "all or nothing" side. If I mess up on my eating, I tend to just give up the rest of the day (or week, or month, or...you know.) When I start exercising, I usually try to go way harder than I need to (trying to work out for hours on day 1.) I have to learn baby steps. I think it's the only way to conquer this weight problem I've had since I was little. So, here's to day 1...again.

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MCFITZ2
    You _in my humble opinion_ need to find a new way of looking at this. Just because you have a bad day does not mean you are a failure. Not one and I mean not one of us have sailed along with perfect eating, just the right amount and kind of exercise. When your children started walking did they stand up and walk perfectly first try and every time after that??? This is no different. You should expect to be less than perfect and just take the next healthy step. Self shaming will not get you to where you want. I suggest you write and post a list of positive things you can say about yourself. For example I am capable of love. I am deserving of respect. It respect myself. I am really good at encouraging my daughter/son. Your worth as a person is not measured on the scale. I truly get so upset when good decent people say and think such terrible things about themselves. You can do this. You can do it in a healthy manner. You can approach this as a lifestyle change that will be on going for not just you but your whole family. Breath and tell yourself I am a strong, intelligent woman. I will not say or think hurtful things about myself. It I would not say it to my child I will not say it to myself. If walking hurts I will to chair workouts. If I can only do one minute that is great. Tomorrow I will do two and soon I will be able to 10, emoticon emoticon
    1534 days ago
  • NICOLEBROWN1979
    Hi I'm new on here but just wanted to say don't give up on your yourself.if I screw up and eat bad I regret it 5 minutes later then promise myself to keep eating healthy that i will eat better for the rest of the day. We are all human .good luck!!
    1535 days ago
  • CINDY4JOY
    All or nothing...that was my problem all my life thus far. Not any more! You got back up and that's the first step. Now just start by tracking everything. Then see where small changes can be made, changes that you can life with the rest of your life!
    1535 days ago
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