MONIQUEDVA
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Evolution

Monday, July 04, 2016

Today is July 4th which is the USA's Independence Day. I have recently exited an 11 year relationship & I am once again learning to be independent. It's definitely a process. And it's definitely not a simple one. The thing I think I am having the hardest time coming to terms with is that there is no longer anyone else to blame but me. I'm IT. I'm the adult. I'm flying solo here. If it goes wrong, it's my fault. Whatever IT is, I bear the full weight of responsibility & I have to make the decisions of how to fix things (or not fix them) and then I have to live with those decisions. What a hard thing!!!

Those of you who are single know exactly what I'm talking about. Those of you in a relationship might think you understand or might wish you understood, but trust me when I say it's easier said than done. Being the grown up & making the decisions is HARD. I suppose in life there are people who are decisive & who would relish this opportunity. And maybe I will grow into being one of those people. We shall see...

Does this post relate to fitness & lifestyle changes & weight loss? I think it does. Not in a concrete way, but in a less obvious way. Just like what color to paint the walls or whether or not to get a new dishwasher...I've let other people make decisions for me. I've allowed people to choose what I would & wouldn't eat, when I would eat, whether or not I would exercise. In all honestly, I've allowed other people to control my success. It was the easy way out. It was easier than fighting yet another fight. It was easier than taking care of me. But now...there is no one left to blame. I'm in charge of ME & like it or not, I"m the one who makes the decisions here on out...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AMAOLIVIA
    It is hard to be the adult and the one I'm charge of all the decisions. I hate deciding anything on my own, but as time goes on I get better at it. In a way it is nice to be responsible for yourself and not have to answer to anyone.
    830 days ago
  • LEENIE114
    Mo, you are an amazing woman. Head high, shoulders back, soldier on. You've got this! emoticon
    833 days ago
  • SILVERSPARROW04
    It will be hard in the beginning, all changes take adjusting to but things are going to get way better. I'm not single and I've only been with my husband for a year and a half now but I definitely know what you mean about the whole decision making process. I am not a decisive person and it's very easy for me to lean on him and have him to make the decisions, some times it's good because I can never make up my mind and other times I'm just being lazy and don't want to think. But we are both adults and should both be making hard decisions. Anyway you are going to be fine you've already made the decision to be single and on your own and to take control of your life. You've got this! emoticon
    833 days ago
  • GRANDMABEAST63
    emoticon I can relate, really I can. My relationship, mariage to my girls Father's was like that, controlling, and like the other things you listed. Yes, it can be difficult at the beginning but you need to do this for YOU and only YOU can do all of this. We are here for ya ! emoticon
    833 days ago
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