LIZZIE138
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Tough times

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

I'm going through a turbulent time right now. My dear friend passed away earlier this week. While I will miss her I am glad her suffering has ended. The funeral will be this Friday. I will do all I can to support her loved ones.

Today my sister ended up in the hospital again. She fell out of bed yesterday and had to call 911 to get her up. She didn't let them take her to the hospital at that time I think more because she was embarrassed by the situation.

She is extremely obese and can barely get around by herself anymore. She uses a cane to walk. She gets so out of breath just walking 10 feet that she has to stop and rest as she is gasping for air. But God bless her she still works although she is retiring in August.

When she fell at 4:30 am she couldn't get herself up hence the 911 call. EMS came and it took them awhile to get her up. Today when she woke up she was so sore and bruised everywhere that she drove herself to the hospital. After being xrayed from head to toe, they determined that nothing was broken. But a blood test showed that her kidney functions were off so they admitted her.

She has been hospitalized for her kidney functions being off in the past, most recently about 1 1/2 months ago. My sister has too many medical problems to list here and takes too many medications to list.

She just turned 66 years old last week and I fear she won't last much longer. And I feel tremendous guilt that I am unable to help her more. I am all she has in terms of family so I feel great pressure to do whatever she needs done. But in doing that, she doesn't even try to do anything for herself.such as food shopping ect. This a bone of contention between my husband and myself because he feels she just expects me to drop what I'm doing and tend to her. I know that is true a lot of the time but that's where the guilt comes in.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with the two of them.

Sorry to ramble on like this but I just needed to put this out there because I just don't know how to handle it. I feel great pressure from her, from him from my job, and my life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LISAQU
    Take good care of yourself as you go through the family challenges....
    861 days ago
  • PISCES24
    Oh no....Prayers for healing from the loss of dear friend and my heart goes out to your sister...prayers included for her too. Hang in there and emoticon
    867 days ago
  • SHAWFAN
    I'm sorry to hear of your issue with your sister and your hubby. I hope you can use "tough love" with her so that you can get back to YOUR issues and not concentrate on hers where it hurts your marriage.
    Yes, she's your sister. She put herself into this predicament. She needs to work to get herself out.
    Sorry if I sound harsh. As they say, "Been there, done that." emoticon
    871 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD
    If she is 66 then she is eligible for Medicare, and Home Health which offers personal companions to help with shopping etc. Perhaps eventually she will get scared straight. That didn't happen with my Sis, My job wasn't to enable her or judge her, just to love her. She has been gone 7 years, and I still miss her. But there was nothing I could do that would have changed the situation.
    'Pray for her and pray for you too!

    HUGS emoticon


    871 days ago
  • PJM1968
    I know it's difficult to see someone you love suffer, and I'm sure you have tried to talk to her about eating healthier. Don't give up on her, talk to her again n again. Talk to a nutritionist at the hospital get her meals made and sent to her house
    871 days ago
  • JENSTRESS
    That is definitely a hard situation. Maybe you can try to encourage your sister to do something to help her health. I'm sure you have tried.

    My thoughts are with you.
    871 days ago
  • ~INDYGIRL
    Hugs. As someone who used to be the person in bed before I lost weight on SparkPeople, I know that yes, you are enabling her to stay the way she is. BUT she is also likely to hurt herself trying to do for herself. sparkmail me if you want info
    871 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    I'm in a similar bind -it s**ks and it's just WRONG for people to have to suffer like this!

    People who advocate the "joys" of family and hold on to the attitude of "family above all" clearly have NOT had the experience of difficult family relations/dynamics/situations (IMHO - just sayin') - and all too often, those who are *not* in the "blood loop", such as your spouse, do NOT "get it"............so sorry you're dealing with this........ emoticon
    872 days ago
  • EAYW47
    Glad you got your feeling nags out. Not good at to hold things in. Pray the Serenity Prayer often.
    872 days ago
  • KITTYSMOM917
    I am so sorry to hear of your plight. I hope all will turn around soon. I've been in a similar situation and there is no easy answer unfortunately. Please always remember to take care of yourself.
    872 days ago
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