Glad but sad it's Friday
Friday, June 24, 2016
It feels like this has been a very long week. I'm so happy it's Friday, but at the same time I'm a little sad. Only because I planned to do so many things this week (mainly exercise) and don't feel like I really did any of them. I'm down to 4 weeks left before my big summer event where I want to be the best me I can be, and yet I let the last 2 weeks slip by without pushing myself! What a waste.
It's funny that I keep asking myself why I didn't try... as though I don't know why I didn't do what I set out to do. As though I wasn't there and am surprised things didn't get done. It's really the same as all the other times... I lose motivation, I make excuses, I procrastinate... and maybe, just maybe a small part of me is afraid to succeed. Afraid to succeed? Why? Isn't this the one thing that I spend the most time wishing for and wanting and dreaming about? To be healthy and happy and get back the body I love?
As defeated as I feel, I will try to remember that I am moving, although slowly, in the right direction. And I will remind myself that what I do (or don't do) will either take me a step towards where I want to go, or not. And as I've read many times, I didn't gain this weight overnight, and I'm certainly not going to get it all off overnight either. Time is going to pass either way, so I can spend it working towards my goal, or I can waste it and be stuck where I'm at forever. That choice is mine alone.