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Wishing I could offer up some great news

Saturday, June 18, 2016

I can't remember the last time I've been able to give an update where I'm helping turn things in a better direction. It can always be worse and I'm always afraid of what could go wrong. Its not all about me though but I don't always do the best a reacting to life stressors.

I am hoping Joey is maybe a couple of months from Pre-K. From there I am hoping I can begin officially on a work schedule again. I've tried sooooooooo many things but really I need a few hours of uninterrupted time to concentrate on work, whatever work it is, whether its an at home job or a job out of the home. My goal is solely to pay off some debts. Our cars will be paid off in one year. I have at least $5,000 of medical bills in collections. I'm ready to stop looking at our checkbook wondering how we're gonna stretch our money until we get paid again. Now I'm watching my parent struggle. My dad retired and his fixed income is smaller than his check and his medical insurance premiums went up! Go figure. My mom works but they have debt so he's looking for work again. I know if he found something part-time that he might actually be happy doing it because all he does now is sit at home and he watches the news and yells at his TV all day. LOL.

My mom also lost her mom a few weeks ago. My grandmother was a life-long smoker and it wore her lungs out. My Mema was fighting to stay alive because she was supporting one of her sons and now my mom feels obligated to do the same. None of us can seem to say anything to convince my mom otherwise. The only thing now is that I can't ask mom for financial help anymore. Even though I work and I try. He is in his 50's. He does not work. His live in girlfriend refuses to work and they sit at home and they smoke and drink among other things.

So at my Mema's funeral, I found out my best friend and roomate of many years has stage 3 breast cancer. She is 35. When living with me she said she noticed a lump in her breast over a year ago that she assumed was a cyst. It wasn't. The doctor said its been slow growing over the last 3 years! They said it was aggressive so they said their treatment would be aggressive to get rid of it. She finds out Tuesday if its spread. I'm going with her to her Tuesday treatments and I told her I would sit with her. I'm very scared. I just want her to get news that its not spread past her breast. Would love prayers from anyone who can give them.

Her health issues have inspired me to get on my feet and begin working out again. I've tried some different programs over the last few months but my favorite is Walk Away the pounds. Its not hard core cardio for me but it makes me sweat. I feel like at 270, that I'd rather exercise to something that I can stick with and go longer rather than nearly kill myself doing a harder workout that might make me burn more calories. I figured I could work my way up to 4-5 miles every other day and alternate 2-3 miles. I'm making some better decisions on my nutrition as well. I just want to eat a meal that won't upset my stomach and send me running to a bathroom.

I also think I broke my toe today in the living room while picking up toys but get this. I broke it while stubbing it over one of my pieces of exercise equipment amongst the toys. Talk about karma. LOL.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have come to realize that, in my own life at least, stress will always be present and my only hope is to learn to deal with it positively. Make lemonade out of lemons. I am living the Serenity Prayer. I can't do much else.

    I think pre-k will be good for both you and Joey. You are young and it sounds like you need to work for so many reasons - for your self esteem, for monetary gain, for your own independence, etc. I hope you can find something out of the house where you can interact with other women. We are always looking for a friend like you. I think it would be a pleasant experience for you. You need more than just being a daughter, wife, and mother. They're kind of thankless jobs.

    I think a lot of people my age will end up in the same spot as your parents as we are caught in the sandwich generation. Trying to help our children, grandchildren, and parents. Finding a way to earn extra money is imperative. Social Security is not enough to live on.

    I'm so sorry about your grandmother. It must be really hard for your mom. My neighbor is like your uncle in ways. He has seldom worked since we lived here and always lived off his wife though he is not handicapped. He pretends to work and never leaves the house. He smokes and drinks too. I hope your mom changes her mind about supporting her brother and his girlfriend. It won't help them.

    I sent a prayer for your girlfriend. I have already lost several. I lost one when we were both 25. It's hard to deal with. I'm sure your support will be a big help for her.

    I'm sorry about your toe but am glad you are going to focus on exercise and nutrition. It's hard to do with everything that goes on in life but you will be better for it.
    1445 days ago
    That's a lot on your plate. I couldn't get Mom to stop giving money to my brother and his sons after his wife died of breast cancer, but when she was diagnosed with dementia I took over her finances and stopped it then. I told everyone that if she ran out of money, we'd have to support her, not something any of us are in a position to do, so they grumbled and agreed.
    1445 days ago
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