WARNING OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE BELOW
Monday, June 13, 2016
What a horrible freaking week!
I have exercised at minimum 3 times in the last week.
I have not tracked my food all week.
I am only down 1 lb since last week's weigh in.
I just needed a break. I needed to feel normal and be like every one else for a minute. I didn't break my eating habits. I'm still following a very strict paleo diet. But I have not followed my eating schedule. I have not eaten as many times as I should. Instead I eat when I'm hungry and not because it's time to eat. I have not given great care regarding my protein choices. I have chosen high salt, high fat meats over lean protein meats like chicken and fish. I have avoided most veggies. I have have traded in my salads for lunch with a meat and a veggie for lunch.
And my reward. .... 1lb lost and an enormous amount of rage and emotions that make me aware of my history of self sabotage. To date I've lost 30 lbs since April 8th. And yes that's an amazing feat! And yes, I busted my ass to get into the size 14 pants. But tomorrow starts a new week and I must forget this past week, be grateful for the 30 lbs released and move forward with determination and courage to do the impossible.
Another thought, it's not as much fun now that my husband is in competition with me and he has lost 20 lbs in less than a month and it took me for what seemed like forever to lose my first 20 lbs. Grrrr! Male metabolism sucks!
This past week was also filled with extreme exhaustion and fear that I was headed backwards toward square one. Prior to April 8th is NOT a place I ever care to visit again in my life and I was riding the fence on that one. I was so afraid. Today seems to be better in the way of energy. I will go back to the gym tomorrow and continue to bust my ass with each rising sun.