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My Mother-in-Law

Sunday, June 12, 2016

It's been a rough week. I've had an underlying current of anxiety with me every day. My mother-in-law has Alzheimer's and last Monday, she was placed on the critical list for getting into a nursing home due to starting wandering (she escaped from my sister-in-law's house 3 times). She also believes she's living in the house (her daughter's) where her mother was murdered and she's afraid she'll be murdered there, too (by her daughter and son-in-law) and just for the record, her mother never lived there and she definitely wasn't murdered. These are the kinds of things that most people don't know about Alzheimer's. It's not just memory loss, it's paranoia and hallucinations among others, too.

Anyways, because she was placed on the critical list, a home has already agreed to take her and she has to be moved in by this Wednesday. I know it's best for her but I also feel anxious about it because she's not physically unwell, she's just mentally unwell and because of her wandering, she'll be on a locked ward so she can't wander away but it makes me think she'll be like a caged animal and I know she'll hate it.

That said, the home is closer to where my husband and I live so I should be able to see her more often. She really loves me because I always make her laugh. My husband and his brother visited the home today and said that it seemed nice and not institutional at all. She got a private room, which is EXCELLENT because I really think having to share with a complete stranger would be so much worse and it's on the ground floor, which she's allowed to wander around on with access to an outdoors courtyard that's fenced in. She can't get out the main doors unless she knows the code and that's extremely unlikely unless it's her banking PIN number, which it isn't.

I'm planning on visiting the home later today to see for myself what it's like and then on Tuesday, I'll stop on my home from work with a stuffed animal and a Welcome to Your New Home card from me and maybe a bouquet of pink flowers to cheer up the room.
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  • 4CYNDI
    I know this is very late in coming, but I've been pretty much offline until now. I hope things are going well for her and your anxiety is less now that is is in a facility to handle this difficult disease.

    1657 days ago
  • _LINDA
    There is nothing you can do once they start to wander :-( But this facility actually sounds really nice. Hope she likes her new home. Its a blessing you will be closer to her to be able to visit more often. Think peace of mind and she will be looked after.
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    1683 days ago
    My mother suffered with Alzheimer's for 10 years. My family and I also struggled with the helpless feeling of keeping her in a safe place where she would be happy. We were blessed to have live-in nurses most of the time, but there were also periods where she stayed in a nursing home. Anyway, I write this because my heart is with you. There is nothing harder ... frustrating, sad, anxiety-ridden ... My best to you and your family.
    1683 days ago
    Sounds like it was a last resort to put her into a care facility. Hope she adjusts to the change well. emoticon
    1683 days ago
    Hugs! You're in my thoughts. Early in my nursing career I worked in a unit much like you describe - I know it's such a difficult time for you and your family but I hope your MIL will be so much safer there.
    1683 days ago
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