350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 407,580

A new treatment for depression

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Imagine waking up one beautiful spring morning and feeling a grey fog invade your heart, mind and energy. Your zest for living ebbs, your relationships with loved ones wither, your ability to perform every day tasks dissipates. And somehow, it seems to be your fault, you feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to accomplish much beyond getting dressed each day…and sometimes not even that. This is how depression feels, how it affects your life and the lives of those around you.
When I was diagnosed about 15 years ago, I remember wishing I had a broken arm so others would understand my pain. Luckily, I began taking anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications. Initially these meds gave me the energy to do the challenging and difficult work of therapy and I began to see light in my life again. I found joy and fulfillment in my work and relationships. My husband even sent flowers to my therapist.
Fast forward to late winter 2016. I have always had issues with some side effects of the medications, so I added another medication. No change. The fog was creeping back in, but so slowly I didn’t realize how murky my life had become. My doctor and I kept working with my dosages and by the end of March, I was back at the beginnings of my depression, except maybe now on a good day, I also made the bed.
I was in a state of drug resistant depression and I was at the bottom of a deep, dark hole. My doctor suggested TMS therapy as a possibility. My skeptical husband and I attended an informational meeting and before we left were discussing insurance options with The office manager. I began my TMS treatments at the beginning of May with a great deal of hope and not an insignificant amount of doubt. Two weeks later, I spent a wonderful weekend with my daughter, sister and a friend enjoying a girls’ time of eating, shopping, and talking. My doubt was disappearing and my hopes were rising. Yesterday I went for my last regular treatment and will begin maintenance treatments next week. (Once a week for six weeks. Regular treatments were 5 days a week, each treatment taking about 30 minutes.)
Today I woke up to a beautiful summer day, the sun shone through the windshield as I drove to my daily yoga class, attending five days in a row for the first time since February. My house is dusted and vacuumed, the dishwasher Is empty and I have cooked three new recipes in the last week. To many people, that may not sound like much, to me it means the world.
For the first time in too many years to remember, I feel and know I am becoming the person I am meant to be. TMS may stand for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, for me it is the miracle that saves.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you! I am going to share this with family members who suffer from depression.
    835 days ago
    How are you doing now? Hope things are well.
    1035 days ago
    A wonderful result - I am soooo glad :-)
    1099 days ago
    emoticon for sharing your story. I am so happy for you.

    1099 days ago
    I'm so happy you've found something that is helping you.

    Thank you for talking about this. Too often our society ignores this serious debilitating medical condition.
    1099 days ago
    Thank you for sharing this information. I'm so glad you and your doctor found something that works for you!
    1099 days ago
    How wonderful that this has been successful for you and seems to work for the long haul. Enjoy this gift you've been give. I've bookmarked the Mayo Clinic article. While some of the information indicates that I may not be a candidate for TMS, it may not be as black/white as I suppose. Once I'm done with post-concussive treatment and PT, I'll discuss with a doctor(s), as I've been sliding, especially over the past year.
    1100 days ago
    This sounds great. I am so glad that it has helped you so much. emoticon for the information and the link.
    1100 days ago
    Thanks so much for sharing this. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for so long, with very little relief from medications. It's good to know that there is an effective therapy like TMS available. I'm so glad your experience with it has been so great.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1100 days ago
    wonderful you found something that works for you what a relief
    1100 days ago
    Remarkable! Has it been only two months of treatment? Astounding. I am so happy for you. I will inquire about TMS. I've been working with neurofeedback for about seven years. It has led me to significant progress. Five years ago, I was able to combine it with other modalities such as yoga, seated meditation, intentional diet and sleep for even greater positive shifts. It's been an unbelievable saga. After a decade of pills and suffering, after a severe brain injury and crippling PTSD, after some work with a non-drug & brain oriented treatment, well, here I am. And here you are, too, with your own non-drug & brain oriented treatment. Isn't it profound and meaningful to simply connect with others and be a bit out in the world? Your sentence, "I feel and know I am becoming the person I am meant to be." gives me goose bumps. I identify. Here's to you!

    1100 days ago
    Keep on keeping on!

    Make today the greatest day of your life….
    emoticon Until tomorrow!
    1100 days ago
    So glad you've found a good therapy! 👍🏻☀️😎
    1100 days ago
    This is really wonderful! What a ray of light!!
    1100 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by CAROLJEAN64