Tuesday, June 07, 2016
I am forcing myself to get on here today. I said I was going to do it and I will, but still....I don't want to. It's embarrassing. I am heavier now than I was before I lost my 65 pounds. Oh dear. I could cry just typing that out. I haven't said it out loud until now. I have just been living in denial. I am so ashamed of myself. And frustrated because I know I shouldn't be ashamed. I should just pick up the pieces and move on. Here's the thing. I lost my weight the right way, and for the right reasons. I just stopped worrying about it at some point. One day off turned into 3 days which turned into 3 weeks, which turned into 3 years. And I know how to do it. I just can't make myself do it.
Again, my goal is to blog on here again tomorrow. No other goals for now because truthfully I just don't feel like I can.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings. You will be glad to know I at least brought a healthy snack with me today so I will stay out of the vending machine. Maybe that's a good goal today.....stay out of the vending machine. I will eat my healthy grapes instead.