Ugh, what have I become?
Thursday, June 02, 2016
I'll tell you what - A person who can barely muster the motivation to brush her hair before plopping down in front of her computer in the morning (before you judge, know that I work from home!) let alone go to the gym everyday. Ugh. What happened to me? I used to LOVE the gym. It used to be my jam. My retreat. My reason for sanity. Where did my motivation go?
I have made up every excuse in the book for my weight gain over the last few months. I went back on birth control, when I go to the gym I lift too heavy, I am getting old and this is just what old looks like. Seriously. I even joined my husbands gym (and yes, kept my own gym membership, ya know, just in case I felt the need to go to both??!!) thinking that maybe that would help me get out of this funk - Try his workouts, have someone guide me around so I can mindlessly go through the motions. I do like those day. Problem is that they are too infrequent and going to the gym doesn't make up for bad eating and drinking my face off every weekend. So here I am. 17 pounds heavier than I was 2 years ago. 10 pounds heavier than I was 3 months ago. That is some serious funk.
I know that the motivation has to come from within. I know what it takes to lose the weight. I lost 37 lbs. just 4 years ago. You have to track the food, burn more than you take in, compromise the weight training with mad cardio because, let's face it, it can't just be easy enough to build muscle and have the fat met away, you have to take two steps forward and one step back, and man, is it just easier to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and watch Game of Thrones.
As I type this, I am dressed for the gym and have every intention of going. And I will go. Because the rest of my life starts now and I have to dig deep to make that choice and remind myself that while every day is a new day, I can't keep using that as an excuse to put it off. But believe me, that glass of wine and Games of Thrones are calling me...But they will still be there when I get back. And so will chocolate covered banana bites. More about that next time.