Tuesday, May 31, 2016

I am SAD that I saw a number on the scale I never thought I would see again. I am MAD that I allowed food to take over my life again to the point that I have gained 20 pounds in only 4 months!!! I am FRUSTRATED with myself because I know why it happened and as I saw it happening I did not stay committed enough to prevent it. July 2015 I joined WW and lost 11 pounds which made a total loss of 46 pounds. When finances got tight I had to cancel my membership and without that weekly weigh in I just let my late night snacking take over. And with the new point system I just felt deprived. Yes I know they are trying to steer you away from the sweets and to more healthy eating but I am one that when deprived will give in a go over board yep there came the 20 pounds! I tried tracking at home but it was not the same. I tried My Fitness Pal and I just could not get into it so I decided to come back to Spark People. I wake up every morning with good intentions and I do really good until after dinner. I am a snacker and I try to leave enough points, calories, whatever I am counting, to take that into consideration but once I start snacking I can't stop. I know I have real issues when it comes to food but I have to conquer because I do not want something that is suppose to sustain us and keep us healthy to kill me! I keep my journal on the table so that I can look at it and track what I am eating and I know in an instant how many points or calories I have had that day and how many more I can have. I can't count the pages that filled out half way thru the day because I just fail to track or tell myself what is the point. Some days I log perfectly, until after supper. BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY! I have logged my breakfast and I am really going to work on this. Most of the advice I get is to take a walk , a bath, read or find something to do with your hands. All of those are a problem for me. I am disabled and cannot take a walk. I cannot take a nice bath because I cannot get in and out of the tub. A shower using a shower chair and hand rails are difficult. As far as my hands go I have to deal with numbness and pain. I no longer have the attention span to read. I have an auto immune disorder called CIDP (chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyradical neuropathy). It is related to Guillian Barre Syndrome and it mimics MS. Okay so enough of the negative and on to the positive. TODAY IS THE DAY I TURN THIS THING AROUND!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYRTLE531
    Hi TNLady -

    Thank you for posting and sharing your frustration. I have CIDP also - and gained over 20 pounds since April when the weakness got really bad. I've been overweight my whole life, but I am usually very physically active. Not being able to exercise is a really bad thing for me in a lot of ways - besides the weight gain, the lack of exercise is definitely not helping my anxiety. I am on IVIG treatments every 3 weeks and they are kicking my butt! But, as you said, it is a NEW DAY! And, if you can handle CIDP, I truly believe you can handle just about anything.

    One of the recent changes I have made that seems to be helping with my nighttime snacking is meditation - I was very skeptical, but it seems to keep me more focused and less likely to use food as a source of comfort.

    I hope you are feeling better and I wish you all the best with your journey - you can do this!
    1823 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    Oh my goodness! I know exactly what you mean. Ice done this to myself more times that I can count. You can do this and I love your plan
    1885 days ago
    This is why I don't snack: once I start I cannot stop. Hard as it is to limit between meal eating (for me it's late afternoon rather than night time), it's easier than stopping once started. We all have to find what works for us.
    1885 days ago
    You're already doing something very important, which is that you're not giving up despite all the challenges. I've found some of the sitting exercise videos helpful - I can't do everything, but do what I can. Also - and this may sound silly - but when I'm alone I sometimes put some good music on and sing along at the top of my lungs. It somehow lifts my mood and gets me going.

    Keep coming back - there's a lot of support on Spark!
    1886 days ago
    Okay... first, you got to look at the positives:
    You haven't gained back all the weight you lost
    You have realised now, and decided to change
    You're a Sparkler on Spark people :)
    You are determined to change and make adjustments
    You have support here

    Now for the negatives...
    Heck with the negatives - the positives far outweigh any negative - and we're determined to be a positive bunch here :)

    Your attitude is great - but stop beating yourself up about things you can't undo.
    Today IS a new day... and you're going to succeed!

    1886 days ago
    Every new day provides the opportunity to make a change. I agree that after dinner snacking is hard to stop but it sounds like you are determined to do things differently. Have you thought about listening to books on tape or would that be hard to pay attention to also? Just a thought. emoticon
    1886 days ago
    We are all here to cheer you on. Be proud of yourself that you are not willing to give up. YEAH for you!
    1886 days ago
    It is frustrating to see that weight creep back up! I have just worked my way through a weird 45lb. weight gain, from January through April, as my body was racked by surgeries, 3 planned and 1 emergency. I really was not eating much, was very sick, had 5 ft. of bowel surgically removed - and my weight went UP!
    But while I am still recovering from last surgery, and really can not exercise much, I have lost the gained weight, gotten down to my previous loss number (& now 3 lbs. under).

    So, you can toss those returned lbs. emoticon !

    Big thing for me was portion sizes! So I had to get back to measuring, and tracking. I was not cooking, husband was fixing meals. Portions too large, nor is he the most health conscious chef! But, gaining that
    45 lbs back...weight I struggled to lose last year, scared me! It went back up so easily! I was unable to exercise much before, and since the surgeries, move even less, so I knew I had to eat smarter.

    emoticon emoticon

    1886 days ago
    emoticon you have a lot of challenges, and it's not easy. But take it a day-at-a-time and try to figure out what you CAN do for yourself. HUGS - - just thought you could use another.
    1886 days ago
    I gained back some of my initial weight loss too. It is so frustrating that no matte what I do I just seem stuck at this weight. I take comfort that at least I am healthier than before. We are all in this together. emoticon
    1886 days ago
  • CKOHLER2015
    Seize the day!
    1886 days ago
    sounds like you are learning from your numbers. Experiment with healthier snacks. Use your mad/discouragement to learn from instead of beating yourself up. Healthy life is foreign concept. You are learning. Be proud of yourself. Keep learning.
    1886 days ago
    Today is the day!!!
    1886 days ago
    Patience and persistence!
    1886 days ago
  • CYCLE3815
    We have good day and bad day. Have a wonderful day.
    1886 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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