It happened, the one thing I told my (future at the time) husband I didn't want to do. That's right I gained 20lbs in the first year of marriage...scratch that first 6 months! WHAT THE HECK?!
And you know the worst part of it? It wasn't even because we were blissfully married and living in La La Land. Nope, full on stress eating was initiated about a month after I was married to my sweet sweet hubs. Who knew life would happen so fast and my waist line along with it!
I've spent the past 6 months wallowing. I am owning that. So the following is an explanation of said wallowing and here-for after will not be an excuse to eat whatever is in front of my face. I will not buy any more "larger" clothes unless they wick sweat away from my body for a workout. I will not use parties, get togethers, and special occasions as an excuse to abuse my body with scrumptious looking treats. You reader are my witness. I need you accountability, crave it even, so please PLEASE for the love keep me engaged with your well wishes and kicks in my internet booty. Lord knows it's a large target right now so we're starting with an easy kick. ;)
7 months ago I squeezed myself into a beautiful lace wedding gown, walked down a cobble stoned walk way surrounded by my family, friends, and mountains, to marry the guy I've been waiting for. I waited 32 years to find Daniel and let me tell you he was well worth every minute of praying and crying out to God "WHERE IS HE?!" So with a wedding impending I did the best I could to eat well. Workouts were non existent in my schedule, but at least I had the food thing down. That white dress was a good motivator!
Once the wedding was over however, you had the honeymoon period! We had a blissful weekend to eat and love each other well. It was WONDERFUL!
Then real life happened pretty quickly. My dear friend, who was like a brother to me and married Daniel and I got very sick unexpectedly. And even more unexpectedly he passed away only a month after joining us as husband and wife. I'm still heartsick over it all and miss him terribly.
Then, not long after that, my father had several trips to the hospital with an un-diagnosed pain. 6 months later the doctors still can't figure out what's wrong with him. It's a constant source of stress and worry for me.
Also in those 6 months I've experience a complete life change, moved to a new town, running my own business that felt like it was failing, lost several other relatives to sickness and death, and had to bottle feed and keep newborn kittens alive and healthy.
Not too much going on right?
So obviously my health was not at the forefront of my priority lists. I can sit here and justify it all I want. I'm sure no one would blame me based on what has gone on this year. BUT, I can't keep going down this rabbit hole. Life is going to keep coming at us and I'm tired of feeling tired and stressed. I don't love myself right now and that needs to change.
Today for the first time since before my wedding I weighed myself. I was shocked to see the 20lbs. I honestly didn't think it was that much, but my waist line was a good indicator.
Today I take the first step in getting my life back and my favorite jeans back. Goodbye muffin top, I wish you well...but don't ever come back.