The negative voice in my head...and learning to drown it out!
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Our company is celebrating it's 30th Anniversary this week. I was putting some slides together with photos of employees, which required going through old photos from past events. I've been with the company for 11 years, ok almost 12, so there are some OLD pictures of me during some of my worst periods.
The frustrating part is seeing them and having the negative talk start in my head. That initial reaction of disgust. And then there is fear...what if I still look that way and I just don't realize it? And then I can even start feeling my posture change. My shoulders slump. My smile fades. And I get that overall sad feeling in my gut. Just from a few old pictures!
And then I say..."SHUT UP!" That's not me anymore! That was the me that was sad and unhappy with life. I was doing my best to just get through the day. Now, I'm the actual ME! The one that was hiding under all of that extra weight and unhappiness. I'm the person I always wanted to be, but didn't realize was buried so deep! I'm the one that people notice in the room. I'm the one that has energy to walk her daughter to school and tell her to "keep up! You're going too slow!" I'm the one that people now come up to and say..."How did you do it? You look fantastic!" I'm the one that can hike up the biggest hill on our hike giving my son a piggy back ride.
But most importantly, I'm the one that sees how great I look and how great I feel! I'm the one that can now say..."SHUT UP BRAIN". I've always been inside that shell. Just had to bust out of it.