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Just smile and move on...

Saturday, May 07, 2016

Sometimes, the best revenge is to just smile and move on.

For those who do not know my ongoing saga, I "Express Mail"ed my Mom a big bouquet of lilacs from my garden Thursday night.

My Mom got her lilacs yesterday. She called me in the STEAMY afternoon of a Minneapolis one-day heat wave (it was 90 degrees here), and told me that she not only got them, but they were in a vase above her sink in the kitchen and she LOVED them. She told me, laughing, that my Dad had seen the price on the box (it was a LOT!!), and had been shocked, but I said, Mom, it was worth it, and we won't think about that again. I told her that I knew that would be Dad's reaction and I even asked the woman in the Post Office if she could black out the price. The employee, smiling, asked me why. I told her that I didn't want my Dad to lose it when he saw the price, so I already knew. All's well that ends well. Mom has her flowers and was very touched. That's all I wanted. I love my magnificent parents so much.

I got a weird request yesterday. Someone asked me to be their Spark coach. I have NO idea what that entails, but I am still being MY Spark coach, so I said no, but offered advice, and after I had read it, I thought that maybe it might be a good thing to share:

I thank you for thinking of me, but i am just no able to be your coach. I am still my coach.

Here is my best advice, however. READ the Beck book. Do the exercises. Have that list somewhere where you can look at it every day. Mine is still up by my computer. Know how important this is to you. Nobody can do this for you. You have to do it for yourself. I do believe that Beck gives you all the tools you need for success. (BTW: I am mentioning things that you will discover when you read Beck..if you don't understand this, please read this book!)

What worked for me, and still works for me, is meal planning. Also, cleaning out my entire kitchen of ANYTHING that isn't good for me. I have no sugar, white ANYTHING, or anything bad for me in the house. I don't eat salt, and I eat clean. Everything is real and not processed and I make everything i eat, so I know exactly what is in it. I just do not allow myself access to any kind of junk anymore.

I also track every single thing I eat, and will for a while. I am getting so good at it, that I can track and keep track of calories in my head, but I think that the act of putting ANYTHING and everything you eat in the Spark food diary is critical.

I also believe strongly in exercise. I didn't do any, and now do a lot of it. If you don't exercise, start by walking. I walk whenever my recent knee surgery lets me. I swim, do yoga every single day, and move. I dance at home, with music, if I have not moved enough in a day.

Make this YOUR adventure. Make it something that you are doing solely for your health and your future. Make this something extraordinary you do for you.

You can do this, and if there is anything I can do as far as help, just contact me. You don't need me. You need you.

Good luck, and Spark on.

Just smile and move on...and Spark on.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CHAYOR73
    emoticon for being such an inspiring person!!
    1809 days ago
    1810 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon
    1810 days ago
    We all need each other for encouragement which as Sparkers we read everyday. Some of us get to the finishing line in speed of lightening and some as a snail. However we do it in the end it is ourselves that we have to thank as well as all the literature that is here to read and absorb. Keep on Sparking.
    1810 days ago
    How great that your Mom is enjoying your lilacs and I agree it was worth the price! :) I think maybe your Dad is related to my Husband :-)

    Anyway Great Advice, Great Blog!
    emoticon emoticon
    1810 days ago
    you are THE BOMB!

    I thoroughly enjoy the knowledge you share with us, and your style.

    so I hope you will continue to Spark On emoticon
    1810 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    1811 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    So glad the lilacs arrived safely and that your mom loves them.

    Taking on being someone's coach can be more than one expects, especially if it is someone with whom you are not already comfortable. You were kind and generous to share the above information. Add that to all the trackers, articles, videos etc. available on Spark anyone who is committed should have plenty to keep them busy and motivated.

    On the other hand, if they are looking for a magic bullet.....there isn't one!

    1811 days ago
    What a great response, and an excellent example of enforcing your own boundaries. Put on your own oxygen mask first... and if it doesn't feel secure yet...

    1811 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon emoticon
    1811 days ago
    1811 days ago
    Great message. Very nice of you to offer suggestions!
    1811 days ago
    I think you'd make a wonderful SparkPeople coach. Reading your blog is always enlightening and enjoyable. You're the nearest. Keep on Sparking!
    1811 days ago
    I love this - you turned down the offer gently, but then gave an entire coaching session for FREE! If that's all that person needed, then you already were their coach, and I hope they use the tools you offered.

    I think there's an important lesson in this, especially after reading Kriszta's comment. If we can't be our own coach, then there's a problem. We don't need an accountability buddy, we need to be accountable to ourselves. If someone needs an external force, then they won't be successful until that force comes from within.

    I received a lot of good advice from people along this journey, and still do, but what was important was that I used it. I made it work for me, and pushed myself, and held myself accountable.

    And THAT is what Sparking is all about!

    1811 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1811 days ago
    Great advice!
    My favorite gem "Just smile and move on"! Thanks!

    How lovely...your Mom loved the flowers! That's wonderful...it was worth every penny! You are a sweet daughter!

    1811 days ago
    Will you please post your breakfast muffin recipe?
    1811 days ago
    Your blogs are so inspiring! THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts and words of wisdom ! 😊
    1811 days ago
  • JANET552
    Great advice!!

    I loved your story of the lilacs. Mom loving them was priceless!!!
    1811 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16110307
    emoticon I'm going to have to get the book again and reread it.
    1811 days ago
    Great blog! Yes, between Beck and Sparkpeople, you have all the tools. I find I can be accountable to myself and I do beat myself up when I lose focus. Learning to be less hard and give myself credit for the good rather than take a beating emoticon
    1811 days ago
    Being a coach or even a buddy is not always easy.
    Once a SP acquaintance asked me to be her accountability buddy, and tried to be, but found out shortly that she didn't really want any accountability at all so our ways parted.
    Great lesson learned for me!

    Not much later a SP friend asked me to be her Beck buddy and this worked out very well.

    1811 days ago
    Yes so very true! I try to always smile, even when things get tough.
    1811 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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