Reset

It's been 2 years since I wrote a blog here! Gee! Well no time like the present to begin again. A lot of things have been going on with me. A lot of changes. This year has put me into a tail spin but I'm staying steady as I can, I come back when I fall. At the beginning of the year, I almost lost my mom. She got very sick and was in the hospital for a month, she almost died. She is still not home (at a skilled nursing center) but she is doing so much better and has a good attitude. We had a couple of cancer scares with her and had a lot of people praying for her to find out that there was no cancer, everything that presented as cancerous tumors were gone! Praise God!
Within the last month, I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were very happy about it but a few weeks ago I lost the baby, so I am still dealing with the emotions and all that goes with that. Previous to that I had been moving out of the the place I lived with a family I lived with for 15 years. They were un-supportive of my marriage, and of me having a child and I really needed to move out and be with my husband (complicated story) So I was able to get out of a negative situation but lost a friend because of it. Her choice, not mine. I still have emotional damage from that situation that I'm trying to heal from as well.
It's been 3 weeks since the miscarriage and I'm actually feeling good, physically. When I discovered I was pregnant I decided to seek that as an opportunity to get healthier. So my mind has been set toward a healthier life but after I lost it, I kind of just wanted to eat whatever I wanted. I know I've gained weight and even though I'm not as big as I was in the past, I still need to lose and get back in better shape. Now that I have moved into the apartments with my sister and husband, there is a gym available to work out in. So I took the opportunity today, which really felt good.
I'm so dumb, lol, I only say that because I totally forget how good it feels to get up and move my body! I need to keep remembering that. I need to get back to that place where I am addicted to exercise again. And the biggest thing I need to do, when I get back to where I was, 209, size 15 jeans (which was skinny for me!) DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!!! Back then I knew I lost, I knew I looked better, felt healthier and such, but I didn't take it as seriously as I should have. I didn't HOLD ONTO it. I let it go...
I could sit here and be sad about it, beat myself up for it and say I'll never get back there, but no. NO!! I want it back, and I'm TAKING IT BACK!!!
So, I'm hitting this button

Here I go.....