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Thursday, April 28, 2016

I need to back up to Tuesday night in order to tell this story properly. Tuesday I had a great day tracking everything I ate and I was 57 calories from the bottom. So I thought I'd reward myself with one Oreo. It would put me just over the threshold and I'd get a nice little treat to end my day. I went and sat down to enjoy one episode and before I knew it was back in the kitchen looking for ice cream. I told myself just one bite. So I took a bite and put it back. Then I came back for more and before I knew it I had eaten the last serving of ice cream. I guesstimated the portion and tracked it and it put me at the top of my range, but I was angry and frustrated with myself for having been weak and eating the ice cream.

I woke up in the morning still feeling defeated and frustrated, and I continued to beat myself up throughout the day. I even blamed the fact that my scooter was stolen on the fact that it was a punishment for the fact that I was weak. (Ridiculous, I know) I continued tracking Wednesday and allowed myself to eat sushi for dinner. It was awesome, on my way home I decided to stop in and weigh myself and what a surprise I was down 6.5 lbs!

As I drove home I laughed at how hard I had been on myself and I tried to figure out why I was beating myself up. I couldn't figure it out on my own, so I brought it up at book club. We are reading "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown and we spend a lot of time talking about forgiveness and living a wholehearted life. I told the women I was meeting with about the ice cream situation and they asked me if I beat myself up for every high calorie food I eat. I said no and then as we processed it together I realized that the reason I was beating myself up wasn't for the fact that I ate the ice cream, or that it put me at the high end of my range, but that ultimately it was because I ate the ice cream in secret and I gave into shame.

This realization was eye opening and I now know that I need to continue my work on self-love and forgiving myself. So this morning I stumbled across this little gem and placed an order. I will have a silver charm for 25 lbs. a bronze for 50 and a gold for 75. It will say So proud and it will be a reminder that I am doing great work and that I need to remember that!

I hope this helps some of my readers on their journey through weight loss, take your time be proud of how far you have come!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's great that you were able to work through it like this and give yourself a reward! Most of us definitely have to work on our self-love. I've been working on it throughout my whole journey and still beat myself up sometimes. Usually not for my eating choices lately because I've learned to just accept them and move on, although I feel disappointed, but I do catch myself putting myself down and it's disheartening. Just do your best to work on loving and accepting yourself. You are a beautiful person, inside and out!
    1322 days ago
  • 1MNEME
    Great awareness and great advice. I like using these charms. Good visual. emoticon
    1322 days ago
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