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Knees, Adoption, Prince & Ding Dongs

Friday, April 22, 2016

Yesterday I ate a bunch of pita crackers and two Ding Dongs. Not one Ding Dong. No, I had to have two. Sigh.

Event 1:
I have been having slight knee pain for a little over a week. It is not so bad that I can't work through it, but I am worried about where it is heading. I am getting into a nice pattern of working out and I don't want to stop. Even though yesterday was strength training day, I decided that I better take a day off instead of making my knee even worse. Getting out of my exercise routine, though, makes me a bit anxious.

Event 2:
I have three children. One is adopted. I am very into genealogy and ordered a DNA kit for myself. I also ordered one for my daughter who is adopted. She is from another country and the circumstances are such that we will never have any information on her birth family. I don't even know the time she was born or her birth weight. I feel it is very unlikely that any of her biological relatives would be in the database, but you never know.

When she saw the kit, she asked about it. She wondered if it would help her find her birth mother. I asked her if that was something she was interested in and she very eagerly said it was. She is 11 years old and has never really brought this up. I would like to believe that she feels so happy, secure and loved that her birth circumstances are something she never thinks about. But that is ridiculous. Of course she wants to know. And I want her to have the information, but we likely never will. It makes me so sad that she could be bothered by this or that it could make her unhappy. I never want her to feel abandoned or rejected.

Event 3:
Prince. This has been a weird year with icons from my youth dying unexpectedly. It makes me feel so old. I am not celebrity-obsessed by any means, but this really threw me yesterday.

Event 4:
I lost some pictures on my phone yesterday - while I was trying to back them up so I wouldn't lose them. I spent many hours on the computer trying to recover them to no avail.


Result:
So what did I do last night? I ate while not hungry, after I ran my nutrition report for the day. Ridiculous. I am so annoyed with myself. I didn't even count the crackers, but my estimation is that I went over my limit by 600-700 calories. The stupid Ding Dongs alone are 330 calories. It was just an unpleasant day. I don't know why I had to react like this. I know it is not the end of the world - or the end of my quest for better health - but I am just angry with myself for doing it. Today I am back on target and will continue fighting to overcome emotional eating.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo SPARKALOHA
    Old habits tend to die hard. I've learned that unless I make a conscious effort to change.. things will stay as they are Some changes are harder to implement while others are a breeze, but I know it's just a matter of time before they take hold. Good luck and enjoy your weekend. emoticon
    1328 days ago
  • HELTERSCELTER
    It sounds like you had a really tough day. Don't be hard on yourself it happens to everyone we are only human. The calories you went over wasn't enough to gain a pound. Just do what you're doing and pick yourself up! We are going to do this together!
    1328 days ago
  • P42016
    (((Hugs)))

    Yesterday was the past. Just pick right up today and move on. And really, you stopped at 2 ding dongs, it could have been much, much worse. And also (((more hugs))).

    I can see how the DNA kits spurred that conversation. You never know what you will find out, but I'm sure you two will grow closer as you go down that path together.

    Prince! I feel the same way. His 1999 album was the first that my sister had (she is older). We used to rollerskate around our basement belting out Prince songs! We had an old denim looking record player to play it on. =).

    Sorry about your pictures. I hate it when things like that happen. I spent a good amount of time being frustrated with technology.

    I hope you have a great weekend and that the knee feels better after some rest.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


    1328 days ago
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