Knees, Adoption, Prince & Ding Dongs
Friday, April 22, 2016
Yesterday I ate a bunch of pita crackers and two Ding Dongs. Not one Ding Dong. No, I had to have two. Sigh.
I have been having slight knee pain for a little over a week. It is not so bad that I can't work through it, but I am worried about where it is heading. I am getting into a nice pattern of working out and I don't want to stop. Even though yesterday was strength training day, I decided that I better take a day off instead of making my knee even worse. Getting out of my exercise routine, though, makes me a bit anxious.
I have three children. One is adopted. I am very into genealogy and ordered a DNA kit for myself. I also ordered one for my daughter who is adopted. She is from another country and the circumstances are such that we will never have any information on her birth family. I don't even know the time she was born or her birth weight. I feel it is very unlikely that any of her biological relatives would be in the database, but you never know.
When she saw the kit, she asked about it. She wondered if it would help her find her birth mother. I asked her if that was something she was interested in and she very eagerly said it was. She is 11 years old and has never really brought this up. I would like to believe that she feels so happy, secure and loved that her birth circumstances are something she never thinks about. But that is ridiculous. Of course she wants to know. And I want her to have the information, but we likely never will. It makes me so sad that she could be bothered by this or that it could make her unhappy. I never want her to feel abandoned or rejected.
Prince. This has been a weird year with icons from my youth dying unexpectedly. It makes me feel so old. I am not celebrity-obsessed by any means, but this really threw me yesterday.
I lost some pictures on my phone yesterday - while I was trying to back them up so I wouldn't lose them. I spent many hours on the computer trying to recover them to no avail.
So what did I do last night? I ate while not hungry, after I ran my nutrition report for the day. Ridiculous. I am so annoyed with myself. I didn't even count the crackers, but my estimation is that I went over my limit by 600-700 calories. The stupid Ding Dongs alone are 330 calories. It was just an unpleasant day. I don't know why I had to react like this. I know it is not the end of the world - or the end of my quest for better health - but I am just angry with myself for doing it. Today I am back on target and will continue fighting to overcome emotional eating.