Giving myself the talk to get back to tracking everything
Monday, April 18, 2016
I hate feeling like I am doing well and fall. It takes a bit for me to adjust when life throws some wild situations at me. Between getting a car, working a new part time job learning new things, issues with my kids dad, finding myself in a whirlwind sometimes, and trying to not be so codependent... I slacked on tracking and it always leads me astray from routine. I'm no better than anyone and I absolutely get panic attacks when I feel I have went to far with bad eating, feeling like I gained weight I work so hard to get off. Before my depression comes back a bunch worse I am talking to myself. =M
I have a food addiction and if I slack to far it peaks its head. Routine keeps me from being careless. So venting this out is personally helping. Journalism Always helps me clear my head. I don't have many to listen in person, my kids dad and I have a lightweight toxic relationship. So learning to take care of myself and stop fearing the world while balancing my personal health had me flustered.
My main goal is to stop being mad at myself. I feel it eating at me. I'd like to weigh myself in the morning to assess any and all damage and start new with a neat goal. Were all here together and we all need to learn these issues sooner or later. I'm just glad I can stop this before I reach my original weight of 333lbs. I also need to plan meals and snacks ahead.
Another issue is getting the family to stop with unhealthy foods. Less temptation here is easier but well see. Wish me luck. I plan on focusing on me tomorrow to slowly get back into my routine I love before I get worse. Thank you for reading friends. I had to vent.