Who am I?
Thursday, April 14, 2016
This is a powerful question and one I have been asking a lot recently, without really trying to answer it though. Perhaps I just didn't know where to start in terms of giving an answer.
When we ask this question about someone else (Who is he/she?), it is generally fairly easy go give an answer, providing we know something about that person. How much truth there is to our answer is another story, as what we perceive is certainly tainted by our own being; our observations are subjective. If we know someone really well, we may be able to perceive and describe their essence, but even that is influenced by who we are and what our relationship is with that person. Does that mean only we can answer that for ourselves? But to do so is hard! It is hard to observe oneself, I think most people would agree, ones own perception also feels subjective and biased, and it would take a lot of self-study to really uncover our own essence.
One way to start answering that question may be to break it down; for instance we can ask ourselves what attributes we like about ourselves and this - whilst still an immensely difficult question to answer for some of us, due to our self-critical nature - is certainly a more tangible question than "Who am I?" In the past I have been asked this question during a yoga class, we were supposed to contemplate on what characteristics we like in ourself and then move onto the next pose once we had found something we liked. That was such a painful experience; on the spot, I couldn't think of any positive attribute that I truly believed I had and was honestly proud of, I could only think of positive things other people had said to me, and of all my "negatives". I was disappointed and sad that I couldn't handle this situation and answer the question to myself with confidence and grace, and I started crying.
Today, out of the blue whilst walking to my office, I was almost subconsciously reflecting on my positive attributes and came up with something, which then led to a whole list popping into my mind! I think what triggered this was a lady I saw sitting outside studying, and I thought to myself I wonder what motivated her to go back to studying later in life, which led me to thinking I am really very curious, and imagining someone else describing me as the curious one :). From there the list built itself in a dialog with myself:
It feels so good to have spontaneously found these attributes, and this time I can truly relate to them, they came from within me and I fully believe it and am proud of these attributes. This short train of thoughts, no more than a couple of minutes, has really lifted my spirits today and put a spring into my steps :).
Do you have characteristics that you are aware and proud of? What are they? I would love to hear from you guys :)
Have a nice weekend!