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Jealousy and Pants

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Let me first begin by saying that I realize I am complaining in this blog and that I have a lot to be thankful for, but I just need a forum to complain about my frustrations.

That being said, today was an exciting day on the weight loss side. I purchased a custom printed shirt 4 years ago and when it arrived it was too small. This morning during my clothing debacle I pulled it out and guess what..... It fits and looks good! YEAH!

Lets get back to the topic at hand.

I've been struggling with some jealousy lately. Primarily in the area of watching other people eat what I used to eat. This is especially true in regards to my roommate/brother. I love the kid, don't get my wrong, but the kid can eat whatever he wants and he works out inconsistently and still manages to stay within a 10 lb. range, up or down. He goes for first dessert (3 servings of oreos) and then has second dessert about an hour later. I know he's just teasing when he calls it first dessert and second dessert, but watching him come back with 3 servings of dessert on the first round and then go back for more while I am lucky if I have calories for dessert makes me green with envy sometimes. He also drinks about 3 cokes a day, and coke is a total weakness of mine so that's another struggle for me to watch him drink it all the time. I feel like a recovering addict who's being forced to live with someone who is still using!

The jealousy is not just limited to my brother though. Last week I was sitting in a meeting and the women on either side of me both had Venti delicious milk and sugar filled coffee drinks. One a white mocha, the other a caramel macchiato, two of my favorites. As they sat there sipping their calorie filled drinks I couldn't help but resent them a bit while I sipped my plain black coffee. I also had conflicting moments because I've come to realize that milk doesn't really agree with me but I am still envious of their freedom. Additionally, I don't dislike black coffee I don't really see it as a punishment to drink it, but I still feel jealous when I see people eat/drink without concern.

I don't really know how to overcome the jealousy because I know that I will struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I will never be able to eat whatever and however much I want without compromise. I allow myself treats and I have days that I say forget and go over my calories, so I'm not really suffering, but I feel guilt, jealousy and then sadness when I realize I will have to make choices about my food/drink in order to stay healthy. Does anyone struggle with this, how do you conquer it?

Now on to the second issue I'm dealing with is my current pant situation. I have 2 pairs of jeans at my current size and 2 pairs a size smaller. When I wear the jeans I currently fit in my booty is unflatteringly saggy and the waist is too big, but my hips, where I carry my weight, fit just fine. When I try to put the next size down on the waist and booty fit, but it pulls across my hips and creates a strange bulge that pulls in where my fat ends. This is an area that I am super self conscious about. In fact in all the areas I have extra fat, that is the one that I look at first when trying on clothing. I even try to get shirts long enough to help hide it, but not so long that they also suffer from the bulge and then in. My friends tell me the smaller size looks good and they comment that I look like I'm wearing a diaper with my saggy butt in the larger size, but I can't get over the bulge issue. What are your insecurities?

Now that I've gotten my complaining out of the way I can get back to work.

Thanks to all who read this!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ugh, I hear you on so many fronts.

    First, THe jealousy. I got jealous of a few friends because they have a body like I want. I'll get there, but it seems like they have an easier time. Then I found out she eats about 900 calories or less every day. She talked about how it was hard at first, but she's not even hungry anymore. Well, I definitely don't want to live like that where I only eat two green smoothies and fish and a veggie a day. So I knew that I was doing the right thing, even though my journey is slower.

    The eating whatever they want. I get this too. I want you to read some healthy articles though, like when you have time. Read what that junk they are eating does to your insides. What sugar, fat and unhealthy food really does to you. That is what helps me. I know that sometimes I miss some junky foods, but mostly, I'm so glad that I'm making choices that will help me be healthy and live a long time, a side effect is weight loss, which is awesome, but honestly, even if I never lost another pound, I wouldn't change how I'm eating.

    The pants, I feel you. The waist in so many things is so big, but I have other fitting issues as well. Just keep working, keep losing, and you will lose those areas you hate! (I see mine still and get frustrated too)
    1331 days ago
    Congrats on the shirt!

    I think all of us feels that jealousy at one point in our journeys, or even continuously or on occasion. My brother is pretty much like what your brother is like. Then I also live with my stepdad who eats a ton sometimes. So I hear you on that! Sometimes I look at what my brother is eating, especially fast food or sweets, and I wish I could eat it... at the same time, I'm usually disgusted by the greasiness or HOW MUCH he eats... Lots of conflicting thoughts lol. I'm not quite sure how to overcome it except to feel as satisfied as I can with what I DO eat/drink and try not to notice them when they're eating. It's tough though, I know!

    As for the pants, I would trust your friends' opinions for now. If you know of anyone that might be able to advise you on what TYPE of pants to get, that would be a good choice too since there are so many different kinds of pants and there might be a kind that works for your body better than the others. I know that dressing to our body shapes can make a world of difference. Maybe Google: "dressing to body shape" and see what comes up for some ideas?
    1331 days ago
    You probably have already done this, but I would suggest trying on several different brands of pant. I sometimes have issues with pants that fit my hips and waist sagging in the rear. I like the Gloria Vanderbilt ( spelled wrong?) pants. I seems to have better luck with them. Kohls sells them. emoticon
    1332 days ago
  • HEAT517
    I feel exactly the same way. Pants are the worst, I always end up wearing the same shirts when I go out because they cover the waistline buldge and then my freinds say I always wear the same outfit. Good luck, I hope it helps to know your not alone.
    1332 days ago
    I feel your pain with regards to jealousy!! One thing that I find so rewarding tho is hearing people tell me they wish they had my will power :) it's so worth it! Hang in there!
    1332 days ago
  • SUNSHINE99999
    there is always something good to pull from these articles so I thank you. Have a great day! emoticon
    1332 days ago
    Remember, blogging is for the most part for the blogger. Did you feel better after blogging? Did you feel you cleared the air over some issue? Then the blog is a success.

    Make today the greatest day of your lifeā€¦.
    emoticon Until tomorrow!

    1332 days ago
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