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I never knew how strong I was...

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

I never knew how strong I was, until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received.

Of course, this has happened to all of us. We have been slighted, maligned, wronged, and the person doing the wronging was so wrapped in their own self-absorption, they didn't realize that their words stung, harmed, and we have had to live with their actions.

I have said a MILLION things to my darling Daughter over the course of her life, but one is a life lesson for all of us. Please consider the source. Consider the source of those words. Is the source so important to you that you would forgive everything, because you love that much? Good, then do, and move on. Or is the source someone that you can brush off like snow and move on, confident that you can hurdle any obstacle, even those made of words, and you are better than that person, because you would never behave like that. Those are the people that should be discarded like snow. Brush them off.

We all must understand that words can hurt as much as knives. Our words must be used gently, must be used with intent and meaning, and to be petty, vindictive and cruel is just not a good way to live. We need to be better than that.

I felt wronged by Spark yesterday. I thought about that, and realized what Spark has given to me, what this community means to me, and I have forgiven the transgressors. I do think they are wrong, but that is of no consequence anymore. I did ask for an explanation, and have not received one, but that again, is of no consequence to me. It was sheer curiosity on my part, if this community is one of inclusiveness or one of "my way or the highway".

If you have been reading my blogs for a while, I don't shy away from things. I write about things that happen in the world, I write about things that matter to me. This upcoming election in this country matters to me. It concerns me a great deal, and that is why I took the time to write my poem.

But, you really matter to me. The Spark community has brought me here, to this place, better than I have ever been. Anger is part of my past. A part that I am trying to keep from rearing it's head, and I am better for it. Bettering myself by losing weight, exercising, and continuing with all of this has made me happier, better and more likely to look at things with a smile instead of a frown. It's a really nice way to live, and I like living this way a lot. I LIKE eating clean, I like exercise, I like feeling good about my achievements.

You can't break me by taking down a blog. I wrote it, I own it, and I stand by it. If anyone missed reading my AWFUL poem, and wants to, let me know below and I will sparkmail it to you. We don't want anyone to take offense!! If you are the one that did this, I forgive you. I don't really want you reading my blogs anymore, but I forgive you.

Spark on.

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  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1837 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    yes send me a copy too...........

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1839 days ago
    I'm surprised EVERY DAY during presidential election periods when I 'accidently' find out candidate choices for folks I ***thought*** I knew.

    As long as they don't get preachy with me, I just figure it's their choice. If they want to get loud & proud...I'll find somewhere else to go.

    DH & I don't always agree on politics, but we can discuss issues without getting crazy.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1839 days ago
    Jane I have been so busy with my ailing mom, I don't have the time on here like I used to, please send me a copy too!

    Elaine emoticon
    1840 days ago
    You know how I feel, dear Jane, so I won't go into it here. Just know that I admire you and respect you and appreciate you - words cannot express how much! We don't agree on everything, but that's because we come from different worlds and experiences, and we respect each other even in our differences.

    I am so blessed to have you in my life, and know that we will be friends beyond the Spark world, so if you went away here, it would be ok. But I'm grateful for your honesty, your compassion, and your forgiveness, especially when I am the recipient of all three.

    1840 days ago
    1840 days ago
    1840 days ago
    I missed your poem, please send me a copy! I loved this blog.

    Blessings, Sandi
    1840 days ago
  • HEDSTS58
    You are a stronger person than I Gunga Din!! (to paraphrase) But I agree. Life is to short to hold a grudge, Hold on to your beliefs and don't let the nay sayers sway you. emoticon
    1840 days ago
    I loved your poem - YES please send it to me!

    I am SO GLAD you are going to continue blogging!

    What a great lesson - consider the source - it one I need to be reminded of more often than I wish! Thank You!
    1840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    No one can keep a good woman down!!!!! You go ahead and send your poem out. In fact, even though I read it, I would still love to have a copy, so I can share it with my family!


    - Nancy Jean -
    1840 days ago
    1840 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    1840 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    Trust your own judgement my friend. Be true to yourself, don't censor your thoughts because they belong to you.

    Were words ever written that every person agreed with? I doubt it! Imagine a world where everyone thought and said exactly the same things. There would be no advancement, no new ideas, there would not even be a need for communication. Because every mind would hold the same content.

    Our ability to express ourselves is one of the things that makes each of us unique. We also are able to make choices about what we read, listen to and watch.

    The point being, we each have the ability to agree, disagree or partially agree with any blog. If you have an opinion that differs from a blog's author leave a comment stating your ideas or opinions.

    That is a healthy way to open a discussion. In the alternative just don't leave a comment and/or unsubscribe from the blog.

    Jane, you have taken the high road, you have forgiven whoever was responsible. As someone who commented on the blog in question my words as well as the words of everyone else who commented were also taken down. And so I too forgive the person who reported your blog.

    My regret is that many people did not have the opportunity to read your poem!


    1840 days ago
    Please sent it to me I missed it!

    Thanks Miss Danna emoticon
    1840 days ago
    Please send me too!

    It is good you do not hold on to anger and resentment,
    and that you taught this lesson to your daughter too.
    1840 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    I saw just the beginning of your poem on Sunday but didn't have time to read it at the time but I chuckled when I saw what you were writing about and wondered what the reaction would be since there seem to be many people actually voting for Trump to have gotten this far, which is really incomprehensible, I agree with your viewpoint of his intelligence, but there are others that support him and think he is the answer we are looking for to solve our nations problems. I try to avoid politics and religion here, and I am glad you are just moving on and putting it behind you. It truly isn't worth your energy. Can you send it to me so I can read it in its entirety so I can get a good laugh!
    Spark on!
    1840 days ago
    I seem to have a lot of those "snow" people in my life but I am learning how to brush them off. It feels god - and I know a lot of what I am learning has come from the supportiveness of this Spark community.

    Yesterday my husband said something in passing about how his family criticized what I ate when I was at their family gatherings. Why was I so picky as to not eat the food they provided. Well, my immediate answer to that would have been - because they cook with full fat foods and unhealthy ingredients and typically overcooked the meats until they were so dry it just wasn't worth eating. And I would have been angry. Yesterday I thought - who cares. I go, I eat what I can to maintain my health and who the heck watches what their guests eat anyway! I suppose I have to forgive them for always being so critical of me but I consider the source and just shrug!

    Have a wonderful day.
    1840 days ago
    Indeed, Jane-- I enjoy your blogs! You have such a kind and generous spirit. You share so much helpful information, encouragement, and valued support for others--
    You have helped me personally with my affliction of arthritic hands;-- thank you again for the helpful exercise suggestion...

    I am baffled about Spark censoring one of your blogs. We are truly a diverse group of people who are Spark subscribers. We have different religions, or none. We have differing political views, and differing views on a wide range of subjects. My opinions are mine... and I respect that others have their opinions also.

    Here is what puzzles me: There are many hundreds of Spark teams-- and some are the following groups.....

    Liberal Atheist Hippies
    Christian Women over Fifty
    Witches, Wiccans, Heathens and Pagans
    Pagan Place
    Alternative Lifestylers (even for those who might have an "inner freak")
    For the Love of Horror
    The Darker Side of Sparkpeople

    With such diverse groups of Spark teams, I cannot understand what SPARK defines as objectionable content....

    I admire you for your forgiving nature, Jane-- and for your many wonderful blogs. Please keep Sparking, because you are appreciated by many of us!

    1840 days ago
    Was able to read and respond before the "take down". BUT I am glad to read THIS blog today. Yes, we really do have to consider the source. NOT easy sometimes, but it prevents making unwise decisions.

    HUGS and thanks for this!
    1840 days ago
    Send me the poem. I'd like to read it.
    I've been around a while and because I was "different" than most of my peer group, sometimes I had to put up with some (let's see f I can find a delicate way of say it) crap. Did it hurt? Yes, Did I feel ostracize sometimes? Did it kill me NO.. In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, " what does not kills me, makes me stronger" And in a lot of ways I became stronger more versatile and contrary yo my peers more tolerant and open to different view points - irrespective of whether I agree with it or not.
    Unfortunately there are those whose world view is very narrow (this includes people in my immediate family) and cannot or will not accept the fact that people are different- they look differently, think differently, pray differently and the list goes on. I celebrate these differences and although I may not agree with it, I respect and enjoy the fact that they may express it without my condemnation. Spark ON!!
    1840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15733790
    Those are the words of a Winner! Winners don't let others define who they are or what they stand for. I missed the poem- would love to read it!
    1840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12915013
    emoticon emoticon You can spark mail me please.
    1840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16110307
    1840 days ago
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