PJH2028
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Write of Spring - Right Spring in Step - Little Engine - of Love

Tuesday, March 29, 2016





Yes I can Yes I can Yes I can
If I say it enough (which I don't, apparently).... Like the little engine that could....

Restricting and Indulging.... I've been on a see saw or a yo yo.
Bring back the machete carrying chicken and the very slow turtle.

I got confused with the APPs and the real life support group of WW's which I joined many months ago now.

I need support. I'm isolated.
I need MYSELF to GET CLEAR ABOUT MY GOALS and my HOW-TO-REACH-THEM

I need myself to reclaim my sexuality
(being in a libido-less couple is squashing parts of myself. and i take full responsibility for that.)

Need Want Want Need
veracity voractiy

Ummm....


Where did the TIME GO!??? (she whined) She sighed. She asked earnestly.

Where does the time go.
One day at a time.
Other people. Narratives. Crisis. Resolution. Lists. Lists. Procrastinations.
2 steps forward. 1 step back. 4 steps forward 3 steps back. 2 steps forward 4 steps back.

"Progress not perfection" - remember?

yeah yeah. I remember. And it's true.
But honestly.... I don't see progress.

I must not like myself that much.
What have I accomplished? That I am proud of?
Weight loss???? really??? is that it???
Friendships??? Yes. Emphatically yes.
(and yet the friends lost.... or ebbed away by moves and time and shared or not activities...)

Well well, dear eating disorder--- You have occupied center stage, center ring, camera one, for most of my life. And.... I'm not proud of that.

But... P.... Don't let that irritation stomp on your earnest goal for weight loss now.

I want to take off - reduce - slim down -
I WANT TO LET GO OF 35 lbs.

Sounds so gosh darn do-able.
Others can. Others have. Others do.
SO CAN I.
SO CAN I.
SO CAN I.

Believe it.



Say yes to Exercise - It's not a chore.
It's not a get it over with.
INHABIT
BREATHE
SWEAT YOUR PRAYERS

CONNECT IONS
SHI(f)T HAPPENS

don't hate your body --
Acceptance
"Perserverance Furthers"

AND
LIGHT A FIRE
LIGHT A FIRE
IN YOU

OK...
I'm tempted to do a serious Head Down - Diet Exercise - Blog - report - rinse repeat.
Will this empower me?

I also know that I MUST MUST MUST commit to and also do a Spiritually Lifting Something
with Others. The isolation is hurting me, maybe.

I don't yearn for the city. Yet I miss my friends.
I don't love it here. Yet here I am.

SETTLING FOR
GRATITUDE FOR



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • EARTHSEAME
    emoticon Break open. emoticon Become whole.

    emoticon Namaste.
    924 days ago
  • AAAACK
    I understand those feelings of isolation. Being so busy I don't have much time for social stuff is very isolating. Homeschooling is isolating. Having a special needs child is isolating. Being vegetarian is isolating. Yeah, I get it. It's one reason I do hang out on Spark sometimes (daily if I can) because some days it really is my only connection with the outside world. And it's a connection I can control the when and duration of, so it's good in that way. Even if I can only fit in 5 minutes of Spark-time, I feel like I've reached out to another human. Thanks for being one of them today :)
    927 days ago
  • ANNIEONLI
    Been reading many a Sparkfriend blog today and boy...every one is resonating with me! Peace. Strength. Persistence. Love. Yes to all that is good and true. Hugs! I hear you loud and clear!
    930 days ago
  • TALLYFL
    It seems that lots of Sparkers live in isolated areas and the do a LOT of Sparking for friendship and motivation. Blogging every day seems to keep them motivated and on track with their food and fitness - accountable to their teammates and friends?

    Would it work for you? Have you tried yet? will you?

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    930 days ago
  • KRISZTA11
    I wish you peaceful, enjoyable days of healthy eating and gentle workouts.
    emoticon
    930 days ago
  • BONNIEMARGAY
    Thank you, gorgeous!
    930 days ago
  • PJH2028
    Aho. And so it is.
    930 days ago
  • GOALIEGRANDMA3
    And add and I will to your mantra
    930 days ago
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