Feeling weak - like I am going to give up
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
I know I need to breathe and relax, but my stress levels are through the roof. As I think about what to write that is causing my stress, I feel like one of Pavlov's dogs - I don't know which one to go to first. Work is rough - I can't find good people to hire (I am in commercial real estate and do the one thing (read leases) that most people don't enjoy. I can find people who can do it and will do an adequate job, but I need people who enjoy it because they will do a great job). Because I can't find good people, I have to turn business away. The stranglehold of my son's college decision is coming to a head. Fortunately, he has gotten in to outstanding schools. Unfortunately, there is no money at most, so because of money issues, he won't be able to go to his top choice, or second, or third. He is trying to put on a good show of making a really good state school his "top" choice, but that's not the case in reality. And, for the past year and a half, I have become a horrendous tightwad due (properly stated, an a55h**e) to the fact that I am trying to figure out how to scrape together the money for his top choice, and I am feeling the futility.
For only the second time since January, I "cheated" food wise on Sunday. By Sunday night, I was back and honest, and I was 100% yesterday. But, right now, I am feeling like I need to leave the office, scream, eat sh&&ty food and run away from my stresses - hopefully, out of the office before I scream like a madman.
Sorry about ranting. I thought it would help. It hasn't yet. Trying to stay strong.