Building a Better Me
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Ok, so the last week of this journey hasn't been quite what I wanted it to be. I would beat myself up for it, but that is really not productive at all. The downside to the week was that I had to deal with TOM, which makes me feel like I'm starving, still not able to exercise as much as I want, not getting enough water in me, and finally a birthday party with cake (yes, cake....two pieces!). HOWEVER, the upside is that we still managed to keep most of our meals fairly healthy, I did get a little exercise, and (even with cake) I managed to log a .4 pound loss. My other half is great about helping keep our meals healthy, even cooking by the recipes himself if I'm not up to it, Bless him. He enabled me while I was eating that second piece of cake by telling me "well, you really haven't eaten much today" because he knows my willpower sucks when I have something sweet in front of me, BUT he also looked at me later that evening and asked if I had walked yet that day. While he tells me that he loves me just as I am, he said he wants me to be healthy, and happy.
I am trying to build my walking up but it's just a slow progress because I haven't yet kicked the cigarettes and I'm so heavy now that it's hard to walk far, so I'm doing what I can and trying to keep to my healthy eating and work from there. I know as the pounds come off there will be less stress on my joints and I'll be able to do more, and the more I can exercise the more the pounds will come off. It's just so excruciatingly slow sometimes that it is frustrating,but I know I'll make it through. I've been overweight pretty much all my life, but this is the first time my weight has ever truly prohibited me from being able to do what I want. That, more than anything, is what opened my eyes this time. I was horrified when I really took at good look at how far I have let myself go, but I already feel better because I am making steps in the right direction. Yeah, I could beat myself up for the last week, but I won't. Instead, I am looking at the fact that I logged a loss, period. I may have eaten more, but the majority of it was healthy. I may have eaten a second piece of cake, but it's not something I do every day so I'm gonna shake it off. I know I can do this; I am determined and I have, not only my Sparkies, but (something I've never had) someone at home who has my back and supports me 100%. I've got this!