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Today's plans

Saturday, March 12, 2016

I got up this morning feeling like I need to delete my stupid blog I posted last night. Then I got on here and read it again and the responses it has already (wow, didn't expect that!.) One person mentions menopause... yep, that could definitely be it or at least part of it. Average age is 51... did I mention I just turned 51?

Others mentioned that this sounds normal, we all go through days like this. I'm sure that is true, and thank God I'm not the only one. But it has me frustrated. When I'm having that UP feeling, and thinking I can accomplish anything, it feels great, but doesn't last long enough to actually accomplish anything when the depression hits and I'm feeling very LOW... and I mean VERY LOW... thoughts I'd rather not share here, honestly.

I'm going to try to push myself to accomplish the plans I make when I'm UP. During which I tend to spend tons of money for the grand ideas I get. :/ That's not been good lately either, but I won't go into that either.

I will tell y'all some of my plans. One is to PLAN! I have hundreds of dollars worth of planner stuff and I love every bit of it, down to every roll of washi tape, every sticker, every pen. It's fun and I love doing it... usually. I also love to create. I have bought paints and inks and stamps and all sorts of books for inspiration in which to do an art journal, but I don't do the actual art very often at all. I also have purchased a bunch of drawing essentials in the form of pencils, pens, paper and more books. I used to LOVE to draw, and was pretty good at it (I'll post a portrait I drew years and years ago... so if you don't see it here when you read this, come back ... I'll be getting a pic of it and uploading soon) anyhow, I'd love to get that talent back... but you gotta practice! And... I just don't. It is a symptom of depression, I'm told, to just not do or enjoy things you used to love to do and thoroughly enjoyed. I want my creativity back.

Oh... so today's plans,... today I am washing all our pets' bedding. We have some outdoor pets and some indoor. The winter bedding for the outdoor pets is in need of a good washing, including the heating pad I keep on for them (which they probably don't need now.) I've been putting that off the past couple of weekends, but doing it today. I also plan on catching up in my planner. This week has nothing written in it at all. I'm going to fill it in. Now, my planner is not just a place for recording appointments and birthday reminders... my planner also serves as a journal, to do list, and creative outlet. I'll show y'all this week's layout (without the writing) so you can see what I'm talking about... some of you might know already :) btw... I did a mermaid theme because I love mermaids, I am a Pisces, and I'm pretty sure I was a mermaid in a previous life... LOL!

(it's an Erin Condren planner)

Today I also want to get my living room super cleaned up. It's not bad, but I just want to make it more comfortable.

I really hope I don't start feeling LOW and all these plans get procrastinated again.

I'm working on my coffee (love me some coffee) because...

I drew this many years ago. Won a blue ribbon in our county fair then won best in show when sent to the state fair. Once I accomplished that, I just stopped drawing. :(

It looks horizontally shadowed because it's behind "no glare" glass... but when I take a pic with the flash, it glares. LOL.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    looking good oh yea :-}
    1016 days ago
    My DH has lots of lows and it seems if we up his Vit D he's a little sunnier. You also may just be sick of winter and need some sunshine...again Vit D. I use a liquid form as it absorbs so much better. You drawing is beautiful...I definitely think you should get back to it. As I've written in some of my blogs after I dropped into a deep deep depression after the loss of our beautiful son I found that my jewelry designing was the only thing that brought me back from the dead. Being creative taps into our sacred power...get back to it Renee I know it will make you feel better! emoticon
    1097 days ago
    The drawing is beautiful!! I don't have depression, but I do have very low energy days to my health problems. If I make big plans and don't feel up to it, I just try to pick one thing to accomplish that day. Sometimes just readjusting expectations can help a lot. emoticon
    1102 days ago
    that is a very good picture.

    maybe when you are feeling low start drawing what it is you are feeling low about, sort of like a drawing journal. not for anyone to see but to get your thoughts on paper

    hang in there emoticon
    1102 days ago
    A certain amount of the blues is totally normal. If you can tie it to something real, like a sad or stressful situation, or hormonal swings, then it's probably just something that will pass without your doing much about it. How many times do you just wake up in a good mood or a bad mood and don't really know why? Even dumb things like the weather and the air pressure can affect that.

    But there are plenty of physical causes as well. Low fat diets are a leading cause of unexplained depression and anxiety. A lot of the neurotransmitters that you need for you mind to feel balanced are created in your gut, so if you have IBS or have taken a lot of antibiotics over the years that could be way out of whack.

    Depression is not a normal state of mind unless it's tied to a specific cause. When you feel depressed "out of the blue" it's something you need to see a doctor for. And you have to be persistent - they don't always get the diagnosis right the first time. Or the second, lol!
    1103 days ago
    You are a human dynamo if you get this done!
    1103 days ago
    I love your planner and I am a planner too to a certain extent. I plan but I don't write it down and maybe that's my downfall. I'll have to check out that planner. I have a friend who has a different brand called passion planner.

    I too have been putting off doing things I need to be doing. I've been having a lot of motivational problems.

    I loved the drawing you did! You are very talented!! I can draw a stick figure if that helps you to see how talented you are. lol

    Please don't ever feel like you are not cared for and wouldn't be missed. I know I have had those feelings too. There have been so many times when I've come close to deleting my account on here. It usually happens at least once a year.

    Sending you emoticon emoticon emoticon my beautiful friend!
    1103 days ago
    1103 days ago
    I am famous for planning my day and not completing my plans. It made me feel better to know someone is like me.
    1103 days ago
    Oh, yes! Hadn't even thought of that. We are our hormones, and an imbalance can change everything. I highly recommend watching Christiane Northrup's DVD about Menopause and Beyond. I found it at the library for my wife, who has been suffering terribly from hormone imbalance from 52-55. (Just a lot faster than reading her books, but her books are brilliant too.)
    1103 days ago
    It is so great to have people that care about us,inspire,motivate and listen.
    Plus it really comes from the Heart,that is what matters the most,that is
    what I love about having Spark Friends.Thanks for sharing,enjoy your day
    and weekend. emoticon emoticon emoticon Love
    the planner it is emoticon emoticon
    1103 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I'm waiting for that 8th cup of coffee moment myself.

    I've been putting off some chores around here that need to be done too. I know I'll feel much better when they're done, but I just can't seem to raise the motivation to follow through. Maybe the next cup of coffee will help.

    Don't feel like you can't post what you feel here - we're here to listen and support you.
    1103 days ago
    Just don't feel like you can't post what you're feeling here. We'll listen and we care.
    1103 days ago
    Fitby2016, thank you! The planner is an Erin Condren (I reckon I should add that above) and this week I did mermaids because I'm a Pisces and pretty sure I was a mermaid in another life. :)

    Maglite7... thank you. I do intend to seek meds when I'm able to, and no, no counselor as of right now.
    1103 days ago
  • FITBY2016
    Love your planner. Who makes it?
    1103 days ago
    And as much as people say "we all have highs and lows" and that is true, don't let anyone ever downplay when what you know what you are feeling is extreme. Do you have a counselor?
    1103 days ago
    Saw this and read your previous post - if you are bipolar and you need meds, there is no shame in that!!! Google "brain scans bipolar" and you will see that people with bipolar have real, measurable differences in thier brain chemistry. Meds help!
    1103 days ago
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