I got up this morning feeling like I need to delete my stupid blog I posted last night. Then I got on here and read it again and the responses it has already (wow, didn't expect that!.) One person mentions menopause... yep, that could definitely be it or at least part of it. Average age is 51... did I mention I just turned 51?
Others mentioned that this sounds normal, we all go through days like this. I'm sure that is true, and thank God I'm not the only one. But it has me frustrated. When I'm having that UP feeling, and thinking I can accomplish anything, it feels great, but doesn't last long enough to actually accomplish anything when the depression hits and I'm feeling very LOW... and I mean VERY LOW... thoughts I'd rather not share here, honestly.
I'm going to try to push myself to accomplish the plans I make when I'm UP. During which I tend to spend tons of money for the grand ideas I get. :/ That's not been good lately either, but I won't go into that either.
I will tell y'all some of my plans. One is to PLAN! I have hundreds of dollars worth of planner stuff and I love every bit of it, down to every roll of washi tape, every sticker, every pen. It's fun and I love doing it... usually. I also love to create. I have bought paints and inks and stamps and all sorts of books for inspiration in which to do an art journal, but I don't do the actual art very often at all. I also have purchased a bunch of drawing essentials in the form of pencils, pens, paper and more books. I used to LOVE to draw, and was pretty good at it (I'll post a portrait I drew years and years ago... so if you don't see it here when you read this, come back ... I'll be getting a pic of it and uploading soon) anyhow, I'd love to get that talent back... but you gotta practice! And... I just don't. It is a symptom of depression, I'm told, to just not do or enjoy things you used to love to do and thoroughly enjoyed. I want my creativity back.
Oh... so today's plans,... today I am washing all our pets' bedding. We have some outdoor pets and some indoor. The winter bedding for the outdoor pets is in need of a good washing, including the heating pad I keep on for them (which they probably don't need now.) I've been putting that off the past couple of weekends, but doing it today. I also plan on catching up in my planner. This week has nothing written in it at all. I'm going to fill it in. Now, my planner is not just a place for recording appointments and birthday reminders... my planner also serves as a journal, to do list, and creative outlet. I'll show y'all this week's layout (without the writing) so you can see what I'm talking about... some of you might know already :) btw... I did a mermaid theme because I love mermaids, I am a Pisces, and I'm pretty sure I was a mermaid in a previous life... LOL!
(it's an Erin Condren planner)
Today I also want to get my living room super cleaned up. It's not bad, but I just want to make it more comfortable.
I really hope I don't start feeling LOW and all these plans get procrastinated again.
I'm working on my coffee (love me some coffee) because...
I drew this many years ago. Won a blue ribbon in our county fair then won best in show when sent to the state fair. Once I accomplished that, I just stopped drawing. :(
It looks horizontally shadowed because it's behind "no glare" glass... but when I take a pic with the flash, it glares. LOL.