250,000-299,999 SparkPoints 270,603

Husband Grrrrrr

Friday, March 11, 2016

Yesterday we went to the zoo with the three kids. Yes it was expensive but I paid for it out of the money I earn babysitting. Hubby did not have a good time. Part of it might have been the cost and part of it is the four year old going on teenager! GS is at a hard age to deal with right now. He will pout and whine when told to do something (which his mom and I are in agreement on how to deal with it). He isn't always pleasant to be around. I get that. He is four and trying to figure out who he is right now and making sure rules are the same and that he is secure with the people who are caring for him. Hubby has a hard time dealing with this behavior. His first instinct is to swat GS's bottom. I mentioned to him that we don't hit to correct behavior. Mom and I have a no hit policy since I was abused as a child and worked very hard to over come that reaction. I was not always successful but I wasn't ever abusive. Back to Hubby....both mothers of the kids I watch (GS, GD, and extra) are teachers. Extra's mom is a general ed. teacher and is usually here to pick up the child between 4 and 4:30. DD is a special ed teacher with extra meetings on students, extra reports to write and extra lesson plans to write. She usually doesn't get here until 6. This past week I have noticed that hubby appears to be clock watching between the two moms arrival times to get the kids. He doesn't understand the work load DD is under. I do because I have been there. He didn't see when I got home when I worked because he always got home later than me.
Today around 5:30, he came outside where the kids and I were playing looking for DD's car. She had told us yesterday she had a meeting this afternoon. When she got here, she was in a hurry to get the kids and go because she had to pick something up. GS has a lovey of which we have multiples (home, school, and here) He can tell the difference. When he was asked to come in to make sure we got the right one between here and school's, he refused to move. He was trying to get a rock for his collection. Hubby went behind him and gave a push which of course did nothing but make GS whine. Hubby held his own head squeezed it and looked very angry. It was a look I used to see when he dealt with our son at that age. Hubby did nothing but if looks could kill (and my son remembers those looks).
I honestly don't know what to say. I told him last night that I would take care of the kids. It is my deal with the mothers not his.
Also, since he retired the end of the year, he tells me every time I get a text message and who it is from. Then he wants to know what they were saying. I am upset because it seems controlling to me and I don't want that in my life. He was in a car accident in October and still hasn't sent in the paperwork to get paid for the car he totaled.
Friends, thank you for listening to this ramble. I needed to vent somewhere safe. I don't want my kids to know about this because DD would feel very guilty about the amount of time her kids are here everyday. I don't want her to add that guilt to what she already feels.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I was abused by my dad too, so I don't like spanking either. It sounds like your husband is having difficulty dealing with his own retirement. Can he find something to do with his time other than keep tabs on what you're doing. I hope things improve for you!
    1136 days ago
    I am also in the sped dept, so I know what the house can be. It's not a piece of cake like everyone thinks. I wonder, though, if hubby had bump on the head during his car accident. Not sending in the paper work, needing to be so controlling and no patience with the youngsters can be symptoms. IF not, it sounds as though he needs some thing to calm him down, relive his stress before he pops!
    1138 days ago
    I'm glad you can vent here away from your hubby and family. We all need this place!
    Sure can understand where you are coming from. It is hard when our hubbys retire and we have to find the balance between being ourselves and being a couple.

    I know things will get better. emoticon
    1138 days ago
    Men are not the most patient when dealing with children, especially grandchildren. Being retired, he might need a hobby to focus on and leave the children to you. Just do the best you can. HUGS!
    1138 days ago
    Oh my I've forgotten what my kids were like at that age !! A handful !! I'm expecting my first 2 grandchildren one in April and one in June. I'm a little nervous to see if I'll even be able to watch for an hour. So my hats off to you your a great grandma. **Hugs** emoticon
    1139 days ago
    We all need someone to vent to now and then. That's why we are all here. To help and support each other. Good luck with all you are going through.
    1140 days ago
  • PAMMY6987
    Sounds stressful... Hope things get better for you...
    1140 days ago
    Vent away, I'll always listen. I hope things get better for you soon. ☺
    1140 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.