50,000-59,999 SparkPoints 55,930

here I am again!

Monday, March 07, 2016

hello everyone,

Been a while since I have posted a blog. The last one was in november 2015!.

I have been coming once a week or so. Reading some blogs and sometimes taking the time to comment one.

The main reason I have not been here much is lack of time. Between my family, work and school I don't have much time left. But I have been missing the exchange with friends that I was getting from this site. So here I am.

Right now, my main problem seems to be getting under 220 pounds. Since I joined Spark in April 2011 (wow! almost 5 years!) I have gotten close to 220 pounds at least 5 times. But each time it has happened I have stopped following whatever program I was following at that time and gone into major binging periods.

I have come to the conclusion that there is something below 220 that scares me. Scares me enough to sabotage all my efforts each time I got close to it. So the only thing left to do is to try and figure out what may have happened the last time I was at that weight?

I will have a talk with the weight loss doctor I am seing right now. Maybe he could help me find out what is it...

Anyhow. I am going to be weighted tonight. I should have gone under 220 this week, but had a binging session yesterday. So we'll see how much damages I've done.

I'll keep you posted on both the weighting and the possible reason I am doing this.

Have a great day everyone!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon sweetie
    985 days ago
    988 days ago
    The armchair psychologist in me thinks that there is definitely something blocking you from getting below 220. You get close to the mark and self sabotage (as a lot of us here do). A lot of people have a hard time losing weight because being over weight is a good excuse for why their life isn't going as well as they think it should be. So if we lose the weight and our lives don't magically become better, there must be another reason. This makes it easier to stay heavy and continue to blame our existence on our weight.

    The mind is very powerful. In high school I spent many hours in the gym. One day I was bench pressing without a spotter and attempting a new personal record, 225 lbs. I got the first rep with a little struggle but on the second rep I dislocated my shoulder. Since then and over many hundreds, if not thousands of hours in the gym, I was never able to bench press over 225 lbs. I could press 215 lbs for 10 or more reps, but couldn't get more than one rep at 225 lbs. I was psychologically blocked.

    Figure out what's blocking you, or just persevere and don't give in and break through that 220 lb barrier and things may just change for you.
    988 days ago
    It's 132 pounds for me I get so close and feel the same as you-- that I sabotage myself. I'm creeping up to it this time:)

    So glad you are back, have missed you.

    Hope you get good news from the scale.
    988 days ago
    200 for me ...grrrrr ... getting close again myself so we will see this time....good to see you...rocie
    988 days ago
    For me 200 is the magic number. I think last time i was under 200 was about 20 years ago. I come close to it, maintain for a while, than slip up and stop tracking. I am determined to do better this time.
    988 days ago
    Thanks. You can do this.
    988 days ago
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