100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 107,578

Hubby's retirement...

Saturday, February 27, 2016

is not going well for me. For him it seems great. He retired at the end of September 2015 after working for 40 yrs. At first, he kept busy with golf, which he loves. But once golf season ended he has been sitting on the couch from morning to night watching anything that's on. I've been patient knowing he did work hard for all those years, but 4 months of nothing?!?
Thankfully I'm still working about 32 hrs a week but the stress level at work lately has been off the scale. It has been since October since I've had 2 minutes in my own home by myself. And I NEED some time by myself. In my job, In job I deal with people, phone calls, the staff & the docs for 7-9 hrs per day and just need a break to recharge myself, by myself in my home. I have talked to him about this need but he just doesn't understand it because he is home alone all day & just can't wait for me to get home to entertain him! I've started to give him gentle pushes to do something, anything. We live in an area that has a wonderful senior center with anything you could possible what to do. Indoor walking track, emoticon, indoor pool emoticon , games, a library emoticon , a cafeteria emoticon , darts, cards, tournaments of all sorts. The most he has done was packed a gym bag but decided he didn't want to go so there it sits, ready to go for a person that wants to go nowhere. I am at my wits end! Thanks for listening to my vent! I really needed that. And I would love any suggestions as to how to deal with this.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Lizzie- I can certainly understand this as I have lived it also! I have a room I named my Sanctuary and I set down some rules that when I am in here, I am off limits. He honors and respects that now. I do make sure we have quality time, but I didn't plan on being joined at the hip 24/7. Hubby does the laundry, dishes, and mopping- I do cooking. He has developed some interests and is doing some consulting, nothing strenuous but it does keep him interested in something. Hope your hubby finds his retirement niche- otherwise he runs the risk of rusting in place.
    Didn't he have a bucket list before he retired? Maybe he needs to make one, One of the dangers of retirement is that it is easy to fall into a depression . More so for men, because they often get their self identity from what they do. Good luck Hon emoticon
    993 days ago
    It won't last forever. Life is short. There may be a few times that you're aggravated about it but I hope you find those few moments that are important to you and him.
    997 days ago
  • no profile photo EVIE4NOW
    Mine is retired too. At first it was things as usual, but when I told him I had expected him to take over half my chores, he did. He has been wonderful about doing many things that I just didn't want to do any more. The one thing he doesn't do is cook lol.
    997 days ago
    I get this....

    From what you've said in your vent, I'm not sure whether you're more upset that you don't have time to yourself or more upset that he's doing nothing while you're still working. It's likely that you know the answer, but on the off chance that it's foggy, maybe figuring that out will help you know what to ask him for.

    As others have said, I agree that the only answer is communication, forceful if necessary. It sounds as if you've tried to talk with him some, but that you didn't get what you needed. Try again??

    As for him impatiently waiting for you to get home and being eager to talk with you, maybe that's not all bad?

    Hoping you're able to resolve this, Liz, and that it won't be long till you can retire, too!
    997 days ago
    My husband and I are both retired and it took a while to get into a new rhythm. We now babysit our 2 Grandbabies twice a week. Life is different but filled with joy. My adult Ed exercise classes and walks everyday are my private times
    997 days ago
    You might suggest he get together with his golfing buddies one day a week to go do something. I live in north Florida so the whole idea of there being a non-golfing season is foreign to me. Are any of his friends involved in the seniors center?
    997 days ago
  • 8HABIT
    I totally understand. My hubby retired before I did and I was still working 40 hours a week. My hubby joined a gym which helped him. He is an extrovert and I am a borderline introvert and people can drain me. Hav you had a heart to heart talk with hi
    997 days ago
    Hubby and I are both retired. He retired first. It took some time to figure out our new routine. We now have time together ... lots of it. And we have time apart. My hubby has things in his life that do occupy some of his time.

    997 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.