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Guilt is a wasted emotion

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I'm taking a break from my WLS blogs because I'm tired and feeling guilty for feeling so selfish.

"Guilt is a wasted emotion" my friend quotes her mother. And it's so true.

If you've done something, or neglected to do something, that you feel guilty about.. try to fix it, or just get past it, and move on! Right?

This could be something as minor as going off a diet or skipping a workout.

In my case, I have a couple of elderly relatives who need help, or want me to visit. Neither lives nearby.

I'm tired, and I just want to go home after work. I already have a long commute. And then I feel guilty for being so selfish. I want to EAT because I feel put out. And I want to eat because I feel bad. Ok, and I really want to just go back to bed because I'm tired and I want to hide from this responsibility that doesn't feel like it should be mine. And of course that thought just makes me feel guilty again for being so selfish.

Well, I gotta do what I gotta do. Time to stop whining.
And time to stop feeling guilty! It's ok to want my spare time to myself.

Do you struggle with guilt over relatively small things? You know, smaller than first degree murder, for example?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SEAGLASS1215
    I have to argue that everything is MY fault, not yours, so what are you feeling guilty about? Haha! Just kidding - but seriously - I shoulder the guilt of so many things - I'm sure if you stop the WLS blogs it is somehow my fault...

    Your relatives are more important and should take priority - even if you cannot visit them in person, could you arrange for some outside help for them? Perhaps send a card with a fruit basket? Give them a few extra phone calls during the week? Plan ahead to devote a weekend to helping them so you feel less guilty over the situation? My parents were elderly, lived 2 hours away, and both ended up in a nursing home within months of each other - and as their only child, I had to travel back and forth before and after his dementia and her stroke took over their lives, at least every other weekend, to do chores, take them to appointments, etc...all while working full time and caring for my family (3 kids, husband, pets, etc). I was immersed in guilt - for not being their for my parents more often, for not being able to care for them and having to place them in the care of others 24/7 - then there was the guilt for missing my kids' games or events because I was out of state attending to the parents.

    Try not to let the guilt overwhelm you - do what you can for the relatives but do not overextend yourself to the point of burnout or becoming angry with them...even though my parents are gone over 5 years now, I still feel guilty over what I did or didn't do...and I'm struggling to lose the pounds of guilt I acquired over the years by eating my feelings instead of expressing them...be kind to yourself, the WLS blogs should be something you enjoy doing, not feel pressured to do.

    1123 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    Don't feel guilty about stopping the blogs, people enjoy them but you have to look after yourself!

    You can make a REAL DIFFERENCE to your relatives by visiting them but REALLY take care of yourself, don't burn yourself out, you are too special. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1124 days ago
    I don't see any reason why you should feel guilty over taking a break from the WLS blogs. People enjoy them but no one will get harmed if you take a break.
    Whereas your relatives maybe would indeed suffer if you neglected them. That said you ALSO should find the time to get enough rest and not burn yourself up. YOU have as much right to feeling all right as those relatives do...

    It is probably very hard to find other people or groups who could help your relatives. But I hope you are trying because you need to live, to sleep, and to have some peace TOO.

    1124 days ago
    Nope ... won't change a thing... move on emoticon
    1124 days ago
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