Friday, February 19, 2016

Yesterday I blogged about Beck Day 9 and today should be Beck Day 10, but I woke up this morning with this screaming thought in my head! "I'm not going to make this work. I'm going to FAIL!" Followed by "When I fail, after blogging every day, I will fail SO publicly! I will FAIL IN PUBLIC!"

Wow. This Sabotaging Thought (for sure) stayed around for a few minutes, but really not too long. I began to think, "Well, so what? I've failed in public before." (Ran for public office and lost by the skin of my teeth!) I know many public officials who have failed in public a time or two and just kept going and did better in the end.

And then of course, there's this guy:

Was this fear of public failure what made me resist and resent blogging Beck in the first place? Honestly, I don't know. I think I may have more than one fear, lol, and they are bubbling up to the surface, into my conscious mind.

Decades ago I read something called "The Drinking Man's Diet". It was essentially a low-carb diet based on the author's discovery that whiskey straight up has no carbs, lol. Oh Great! We can drink ourselves to death but die thin, lol.

Beck, I'm thinking, is "The THINKING Man's Diet", if you don't mind me using "man" in it's most generic form.

You can read Beck Pink, write it, follow every task and fill out every form, but what this book really does is MAKE YOU THINK!

And as someone who knows most of my eating is not due to hunger, I NEED to think. I NEED to be and stay AWARE. (Yep, same old word keeps popping up.)

So. It may take me 150 days to get through these 48 days of Beck, but get through it I will. Will I Fail or Will I Succeed?

It's not the destination, is it? It's the journey!

And that is what any trek is about, especially this Beck Trek!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You don,t need to blog every day. And you don't need to do every little thing that Beck says. But if you work through progressively you'll be glad you did.
    I struggled with Beck and didn't get through it the first three tries. I don't think I failed. Do you think I failed?
    1128 days ago
    Oh yeah AWARENESS is KEY! And, it is not about the destination ... it IS the JOURNEY that MATTERS. Mistakes are likely our biggest teachers. I know that I have an entirely different outlook on mistakes than I did decades ago.
    1129 days ago
  • GABY1948
    LOVE, love love the Michael Jordan quote! THANK YOU and this is one of the most WONDERFUL blogs I have EVER read!

    You write amazing blogs and I am keeping this one!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1130 days ago
    emoticon Thank you so much for the Michael Jordan quote. And excellent job retraining your brain! This is such a major Beck step for me and probably for all of us.
    1130 days ago
    Personally, I'm surprised that you would doubt yourself or worry about this for even a second. I would never think that my not being successful with SOME OTHER PERSON"S PLAN was my fault. Everyone is a "failure" in some area if you think of failure in this way. I have tried to learn to like tomatoes for years with zero success. Almost everyone loves them but they are not for me. I'm not a failure, I just don't like tomatoes.

    I've read hundreds of diet books and gotten a lot of good info from them but every one of them usually had something to cause it to fail my ultimate litmus test.

    We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I am good at most things but I'm horrible at higher math, to the point where it makes me feel seriously ill if I have to think about calculus.

    We are all unique individuals. Not everyone benefits from cognitive behavioral therapy. That is why there are a lot of other kinds and some of them are supposed to be superior to it.

    Some people are easy to motivate. They are eager to incorporate suggestions. They read a book and they follow it to the letter. They are easily hypnotized. I'm not one of them. I'm scientific and analytical. Placebos don't work for me so either the Beck plan will work for me or it won't. No failure involved.

    You won't fail either. You will at least learn something from this journey or you may learn everything you need to know. Keep an open mind. Be willing to tweak it if need be.
    1130 days ago
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