Yesterday I blogged about Beck Day 9 and today should be Beck Day 10, but I woke up this morning with this screaming thought in my head! "I'm not going to make this work. I'm going to FAIL!" Followed by "When I fail, after blogging every day, I will fail SO publicly! I will FAIL IN PUBLIC!"
Wow. This Sabotaging Thought (for sure) stayed around for a few minutes, but really not too long. I began to think, "Well, so what? I've failed in public before." (Ran for public office and lost by the skin of my teeth!) I know many public officials who have failed in public a time or two and just kept going and did better in the end.
And then of course, there's this guy:
Was this fear of public failure what made me resist and resent blogging Beck in the first place? Honestly, I don't know. I think I may have more than one fear, lol, and they are bubbling up to the surface, into my conscious mind.
Decades ago I read something called "The Drinking Man's Diet". It was essentially a low-carb diet based on the author's discovery that whiskey straight up has no carbs, lol. Oh Great! We can drink ourselves to death but die thin, lol.
Beck, I'm thinking, is "The THINKING Man's Diet", if you don't mind me using "man" in it's most generic form.
You can read Beck Pink, write it, follow every task and fill out every form, but what this book really does is MAKE YOU THINK!
And as someone who knows most of my eating is not due to hunger, I NEED to think. I NEED to be and stay AWARE. (Yep, same old word keeps popping up.)
So. It may take me 150 days to get through these 48 days of Beck, but get through it I will. Will I Fail or Will I Succeed?
It's not the destination, is it? It's the journey!
And that is what any trek is about, especially this Beck Trek!