LILLIPUTIANNA
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Be Mine...I Guess

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Valentine's Day. As I get older, I feel more and more like it's some sort of trap.

I don't enjoy it.

It's not because I'm single. I've been married quite a while now.

I got him a present. We'll probably go out to dinner or something on Sunday.

My trouble is, no matter what I do, it isn't enough. If I buy him a card, he'll be disappointed that I didn't MAKE a card for him (I'm an artist...and people expect me to make things for them). If I buy a present (and I did), it will be the wrong present. If I buy candy...it will make him worry about being fat.

Now, I know what you're thinking...he sounds like a woman. It's true. The characteristics that we delegate to women in our culture tend to be his default. I would argue that MANY men have that same default, and we try to ignore it as a culture. Behaviors are not naturally inherited by either sex. Humans are more complicated than that. If you want simple gender roles, I suggest you look at Salmon.

But that's neither here nor there. The fact is, I am sick to death of Valentine's Day. It's all about consuming, and unrealistic expectations regarding love and romance.

I have no ultimate point to make here. I just wanted to state for the record that I'm just not looking forward to the next 48 hours.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WOUBBIE
    So how did it go?

    I found The Five Love Languages to be really helpful. My DH and I DEFINITELY speak and hear different languages. He wants to give me stuff, and I want him to do things that make my life easier. Twenty-seven years and he still hasn't learned. I may not like HIS love language any better than he likes mine, but at least I know what it is!
    1511 days ago
  • BBEAGAN
    Remember - no one can make us feel anything. They do or don't do, and we choose how we interpret and how we feel in response. So your husband's feelings are his, not yours. You don't cause them. He chooses to feel hurt.
    But I agree completely about Valentine's Day. And New Years Eve - somehow supposed to be the most fun night of your year. Mandatory fun. Yuck. My partner and I discuss what we will do to mark Valentine's Day, just as a chance to remember intimacy, pay attention to us. So this year we decided to make a nice meal together. Just taking time together is enough.
    1515 days ago
  • BROOKLYN_BORN
    I just wrote a blog about my view of Valentines Day. There should not be "requirements" for expressing love. It's tough when a couple has different expectations, especially when enforced by society. Hang in there!
    1515 days ago
  • IRETA49
    Good for you to share here. You always have a safe place to vent. emoticon
    1516 days ago
  • MINATHERED
    I agree! My husband and I don't celebrate the big VD and haven't since our first year together. I think it's a day designed to make everyone feel like they're not good enough. Married, relationship, single, it doesn't matter - you aren't doing it right.
    1516 days ago
  • LILLIPUTIANNA
    Presents wrapped. Candy bought. I await my judgment.
    1516 days ago
  • KRISZTA11
    I'm a lucky girl, Valentine's day has just reached Hungary a few years ago, and doesn't have much power (yet).
    We don't celebrate with my husbands, nor do my kids, and I'm glad we don't.
    I seriously dislike celebrations that include buying stuff and judgements, so I sincerely sympathize with you.
    emoticon
    1516 days ago
  • LILLIPUTIANNA
    Oh...I can say "pout!" I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one around here who dreads the gift-giving!


    1516 days ago
  • ALICIA363
    emoticon
    I, too, am married to a sensitive man. Which reminds me, I'd better get something ready--anything--to acknowledge how much I care, because not acknowledging by a date on the calendar is far worse! (Can you say POUT?!?)
    emoticon
    1516 days ago
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