Here I go again. Again. Repeat...
Monday, February 08, 2016
(Let me preface by saying I'm known to be a bit of a ornery smart-arse, so take what negative things I say with a grain of salt. I'm here to have fun & if this makes you smile, then I did my job. Welcome to a wonderful world run by AngeLaw...🌺)
Hey y'all! I'm am danged FED UP with gaining 5-10 pounds every 2-4 weeks! My doc wants me to do the gastric balloon for $7k! Ha! I don't have credit cards so I can't get financed & it's a "temporary fix" per the insurance company. He doesn't want me to have surgery because of the osteomyelitis (bone infection with which they have gifted my spine).
Well, I say cut me open & suck out the toxic junk & sleeve my stomach so I won't absorb the sugar from my FRUIT intake! Yes, I'm gaining so much weight cuz I eat too much fruit. Ummm, okay. Then stick me on the 12 weeks of IV antibiotics I'll need to fight off infection.
Seriously, this is where I'm at. I feel horrible every day, can't get out of bed, can't twist my waist at all. Do you know how hard it is for a hefty chick to walk or work out without some swish, sway, or twist? Impossible!!!
Someone is about to get popped in the back of the head. Seriously, just light the fat on fire, make candles, soap or perfume or whatever you can do with the lard I've compacted onto myself because it is truly not a part of Angela. OH NO, THESE POUNDS ARE SQUATTERS UNDER AN EVICTION NOTICE!
Oh, while they're in there thinning me out, I'd like the titanium version of the proverbial "stick up my arse" so I can finally stand up & not wobble or lose balance & start falling backward. (Did anyone laugh at that? I did! Loved the stick up the butt line!). During my spinal surgery they moved a nerve behind my knee so my left calf, shin, & upper inner thigh are all numb... So I fall. I'm NOT drunk.
Anyway, I e gone through s lot in the past 3.75 years! I lost 60 pounds, found 70 between operations and medications. (Ever met anyone who can take Morphine-Extended Release, Dilaudid, Valium, Neurontin, and finish off with Zanaflex and still drive themselves to the doctor's office? Well, I'm gifted.)
But today I made a positive change. I gave up my breakfast grapes for a mini cucumber instead. And I placed all my braces on myself - from ankle to breast - and got on my NordickWalk Stepper/incline Stepper & walked for 13 minutes & 19 seconds. I officially 'stepped off' my Greek yogurt. I got in 1002 steps in that workout.
I used to report 120-240 minutes of workouts every day. TONS of steps. Today I am more proud of those friggin' 13+ minutes than any day of 4-mile walks on the property & weight training.
13 minutes. It's a start...