HSAGE1212
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CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM

Monday, February 01, 2016

I am stumped and gave in to my emotion. I am going to have a bad night! I could feel it and didn't know how to crawl out of it. Got off work at 5 p.m. I could feel negativity in the air. I need to put me first, my emotions bring me down. Family emotions can kill me. There negativity causes me problems. I can't separate and I get depressed. There is anger, depression and pain that these people bring to me. All I want is relief from the stress. It is dark out and snowing heavily on and off again. I go to my computer and sit in front of my escape. I don't want to eat badly, I don't want to have a drink, I just want the pressure off sometimes. I just want to be light hearted and happy. But I feel trapped in my depression and there emotions.. Hopefully one night will not destroy my diet. Over the last twenty years I have gave all to everyone, even my emotions. I have a hard time separating!
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  • HSAGE1212
    Thank you! I appreciate the support! I did bad tonight. I do have to learn a new way to separate myself with emotions. I am not always strong every moment of everyday. Tonight I was week and needed to love myself before I gave to others. But they demanded and I could not stop my emotions. I have been depressed for a very long, long time dealing with others and I am trying to learn to love myself and put myself first. This should be a lessoned learned. I need to figure a way to cope better.

    Tonight I took what was left of the whip cream and stirred in a couple of hot chocolate packs and then I drank three beers. I know this was not the answer! Tomorrow is a new day. But I do want to thank you. Goodnight.
    902 days ago
  • KMBRLYGLBLT
    .. And just breathe.. Deep and slow and try to clear the clutter in you head.. I like looking out the window in the dark when it rains.. It's calming. Find that something to help you center. May take a couple times to work but once you do.. Heaven!
    902 days ago
  • KMBRLYGLBLT
    I can relate as well.. I moved to another country away from those I love most and have to deal with his ex an her horrible parenting of my wonderful 5 step children. When things get really tough, go into a quiet room with candles and relaxing music..
    902 days ago
  • LOWCOUNTRYDAVE
    I don't know you. But I can relate with what you are saying. If the stress is not yours personally it still affects you. I had to talk to myself and understand I don't make other people's decisions. I can only try to guide family, friends, etc.
    902 days ago
  • MUNYAN
    I would say most of us here can totally relate to how you are feeling. Try to get some alone time and do something positive for yourself. Take a walk, maybe a long shower, try to remember you are important also! It's hard but ok to put you 1st!
    902 days ago
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