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So I just decided to go for it...

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Today I jogged. I know that seems silly, but it was huge for me. I have this obnoxious knee condition that causes dislocations, which in turn leads to spraining of the ligaments. After my second major injury I became a wimp. I was constantly scared of dislocating, and starting modifying my movement in order to prevent injury. We were uninsured, and if I destroyed my knee I wouldn't be able to afford to get it fixed. I couldn't handle the idea of a crippling injury, so instead I stopped doing anything that caused a dislocation. No running, jumping, pivoting, or dancing. I went from dislocating my kneecap multiple times a day, to just multiple times a week, to every once in a while. I'm careful. PAINFULLY careful. I can feel it coming, and I've learned how to prevent big issues.

But recently I've been asking myself how big of a deal it really is. I haven't dislocated in a long time, so maybe I'm remembering wrong. Maybe I'm exaggerating the memories. Maybe I can do more than it feels like I can do.

So today, as my kids and I walked our dog I began to pick up the pace. Then I decided to go for it. I've got insurance now, the worst that could happen is I have to call an ambulance to peel me off of the pavement, right? So I jogged.


My knee cap slipped twice, and I realized it was super stupid to attempt without a brace. BUT I JOGGED! I feel like I reacted to the fear of an injury so much that I actually made my knee weaker, allowed myself to gain even more weight, and otherwise failed at taking care of my body.

So jogging again may be a little ways out, but I'm going to start pushing a bit. I'm going to get the physical therapy I need, and one day not only will I jog-- I will run. That's right, I'm admitting that deep dark secret that has always seemed ridiculous. I want to be a runner. One of those strong healthy girls who is always signing up for one run or another. One day...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone, I am being careful. I think I just needed to prove something to myself the other day. I won't be taking unnecessary risks, and won't be exercising without a brace at very least. My doctor gave me a referral for physical therapy and I will be starting that soon.

    SUE5007, so glad you shared your story! What an exciting accomplishment. I would be beside myself with excitement. Keep up the hard work, hope you just get stronger and enjoy more mobility going forward! I hate feeling like my whole body wants to do one thing, but my stinky knees won't allow it. Good luck to you!

    1696 days ago
  • SUE5007
    I also have a knee that hurts sometimes if I do lunges or squats too much. I have to do them really carefully and not too many of them. Like you, I think if my legs were stronger maybe my knees would hurt less. But when I try to strengthen my legs they end up hurting, so I'm easier on my knees but then the legs aren't as strong...it's a vicious circle.
    My hubby's workout buddy canceled on him the other day. It was "legs day". I decided I'd workout with the hubby and see what I could do and modify when necessary. I did a squat with a barbell for the first time ever and it was awesome! I did 2 sets, went all the way down, and my knee didn't hurt at all! (Small miracle for me) I think because of the extra weight my body was engaging every muscle so it wasn't just my knees and thighs doing all the work. Usually I do a workout video using just body weight or dumbbells and my knees always start hurting, but it wasn't until 40 minutes into this workout that they started to get weak.

    The point of my long story (sorry) is to Keep It Up! Be mindful, but don't be afraid.
    1696 days ago
    Good for you, but don't forget to wear your brace just in case! emoticon
    1697 days ago
    Best wishes but do be careful...maybe look at different exercises or seeking medical advice how to deal with your condition. Good luck.
    1697 days ago
  • SKY214
    You ARE a runner! You're just on temporary hiatus.
    1697 days ago
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