Moving forward...and upward
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
So, here I am. Updating again. Few and far between. Life isn't fair sometimes, you know? Stuff has been crazy lately. My divorce is final. I knew it was coming, but why it was so difficult to actually here that it was over....I have no idea. It hurt pretty bad. That was a rough day. Another rough day....yesterday when my ex told me he was getting a house with his girlfriend, the singer in his band. The girl he has been claiming all along he wasn't seeing. I'm seeing someone, so why would this bother me at all? Well, I really truly think I'm just angry that I feel like he lied to me. He made me feel like crap for moving on....he called me terrible, degrading names. He still insists that they haven't been dating long, although I find it difficult to believe he would be stupid enough to get a lease with someone he's been dating for such a short time. Also, I trusted him to stay by my side for the rest of our lives so it's hard to trust anything that he says. Personally, I'm glad he's seeing someone because I truly do want him to be happy. He is my child's father after all. I didn't love him for all these years for no reason. I still want his happiness.
All that being said, my new relationship is going well. We have rough patches as we figure each other out, but he is very big on communication. I am broken and he knows that. He's helping me figure out how to put myself back together. He knows it may not work, he knows it may be too soon for me, but he is there.
On to the weight, which is what this is supposed to be about. I had gained back all my weight and before the divorce I had lost about 20 pounds of that again. I have now gained 10 pounds back. I find I am completely unmotivated to get healthy. I'm eating terribly, I'm not exercising, and I'm as lazy as I've been in 10 years when I was heavily medicated for seizures. I have to figure this out. Quickly. I am hoping to reform some good habits. I keep saying I'm going to exercise, but I don't. I'd rather be hanging with my son. So, I'm going to start with blogging. I'd like to work up to blogging every weekday again. I like writing so this shouldn't be a huge problem, I just have to make the time.
Thanks for listening my lovelies, even though I have been a terrible spark friend.