Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein (or so says the internet)
It may be hard to believe, but not tracking my food, eating whatever is handy (and not necessarily even tasty), not exercising, working night shift and not holding myself accountable hasn't been working. My ass isn't quite as big as it was at one time, but it has been steadily growing. Wider and wider and wider... my trunk is utterly and completely full of junk.
In fact, the only thing that has ever worked has been tracking every morsel, exercising religiously, and being focused on eating whole foods and avoiding putting junk in my mouth. Not quit obsessed with the whole thing, because that doesn't really work in a sustainable way, but a happy medium of being focused on a goal and making a daily commitment to get there--that is what worked for me.
So why haven't I been doing that? Isn't that the MegaMillions PowerBall question for most of us?
Well, I have been doing the eating better thing for about 16 days now. No junk food going into my face, I've been very focused on quality and making better choices. I haven't started tracking, I haven't found a gym yet, but just this one small change has made a difference. 5 pounds of difference. Long way to go.
That making better food choices thing and losing weight won't last long. Just eating healthfully, well, that's not going to get the job done. I have a very long haul ahead of me, and I am now admitting to myself that:
1) I still do not want gastric bypass. No no no no no. Me no wantee the surgery but I can't keep living like I am.
2) I have to make great food choices at least 90% of the time, and not horrendous ones the other 10%.
3) When you are as heavy as I am, you can lose without being strict in the early days and that isn't necessary a good thing for establishing good habits.
4) I have to track my food, and that means weighing and measuring some of my favorites, like nuts and salad dressing.
5) I need to exercise for a wide variety of reasons, after all, exercise is the fountain of youth. I loved how I felt when I ate well and did tons of yoga and worked out until I was sweating like menopause in July.
6) Blogging about the journey helps, it's a less high school form of peer pressure.
So, short term future goals are as follows:
Excellent food choices
Establish an exercise program
Track it all
Blog about it
I have to go shop for a gym. I have to deal with the people who sell gym membership type things who may look at me like "oh, here is some free money, pay the monthly dues and never show up with this one for sure". I'm not having any luck finding a gym with a pool, which annoys me to no end. So instead I will look for a place with kickboxing and yoga and nice machines and no smell of body funk and toe jam, what more could a girl need? Oh yes, a freaking pool.
For those who remember me and are wondering about my last few years in hiding, here is a recap:
Got Divorced, stress ate, quit tracking and exercising and got fatter
Finished grad school
Moved to the South with the love of my life
Near the Ocoee River... this lake has a real name but we all seem to call it Lake Ocoee
Started Working and Playing in the South
Moved Further South
View from my back deck
Worked myself half to death doing night shift
Sunrise in Georgia
Better Half finished grad school
Switching to better schedule and working less in a month or two. WOOOOOT!