2016: Day 21 - Discouragement Turns to Gratitude
Thursday, January 21, 2016
I am still having trouble walking. The trouble is not physical, at least not my legs or feet. It may be something between the inner ear sense of balance, the eyes and the brain or it could be just vision issues. Not at all sure. I can walk inside buildings with almost no problem and at a good pace. Walking outside such as from the building to my car across the parking lot is terrifying at times. It's almost as if my body and brain freak out. I have not fallen, but I have been frozen and unable to move until I talk myself (out loud) into moving and force my will to make my body work.
My partner has not worked for years and may never again. That's a long story that I won't start here. He called me on my cellphone while I was at work. That is always bad news. Either something is wrong at home, with our cats or he needs money. Today it was money. I'm already working 2 jobs and scraping by. Working very hard to get out of debt. Right now, there is no overtime offered and the extra work at job #2 has yet to materialize, so things are extra tight. It was so cold in December - early January that I know the utilities are going to kill the rent bill next week. Stressed!
How am I going to make it, I asked God while driving home. In response, a neighbor who is moving out gave us the contents of his pantry. Canned fruit and veggies - several weeks' worth! So thankful!
I am living proof that food can be a struggle even while working. I really empathize with the people in all the news stories about working poor with food anxiety.
I am grateful for what I have, what I can do, but this gift warmed my heart and stilled some of my stress. I am grateful!
Today: have not finished water yet. 6.5 glasses down, 2.5 to go.
A tough day in several ways ends on a high note!