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Wedding coming soon on August 19th

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My daughter Aubrey, who had been very ill for almost two years, is getting married on August 19th, It's fairly small, an outdoor wedding and buffet-with-DJ reception at a whale-watching museum's banquet room, perched high on the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean. She's my only girl, so it's the full-on, Mother of the Bride, girly girly stuff, and I am loving 99% of it!
The groom's mom is causing problems, but we are looking at the long-term issues and trying not to get caught up in the details. It's more important that her son, who will be my daughter's husband, makes that transition and puts Aubrey first in his actions and the making of decisions.
If his mom DOES buy that dress in that beautiful shade that is ideal for me, and is supposed to be "my" color for the wedding... then I'll just exchange my dress and go in another direction. It's not worth the fight! I just want to make sure that in the long run, his mom won't have the power to cause division between them. Other than the constant drama with the groom's family, we are having a great time!!! The maid of honor is taking Aubrey and I and another bridesmaid on a cruise to Cabo San Lucas for the "bachelorette party"! It's just like a fairy tale!!!

Luckily, my husband has excellent medical coverage through his union, and as his stepdaughter and full time college student, Aubrey was eligible. Our local hospital has an excellent rep, so between that and the excellent health insurance, she received intensive, detailed care... you all know how rare that can be!
Aubrey was living in Wisconsin and going to a private college on scholarship/ grants/ loans/ work study when her health started failing. When it proved too serious for an easy cure, we moved her home to live with us, so we could care for her and she could get better comprehensive care. After weeks of tests and exploratory surgery with no diagnosis, she collapsed and was hospitalized for two weeks.
The doctor called in on her puzzling case as a last resort is primarily a research scientist, who works as an MD to pay for his research. Aubrey was diagnosed with an enterovirus in her bone marrow, which spreads throughout her body causing chronic internal pain and dysfunction from inflammation and ulcerations to most of her internal organs. She's one of his test subjects now!
She is on an experimental drug from China, which they have been using for chemo patients to ease fatigue and strengthen the immune system, and she has been doing very well on it these last few months. While she did have to drop out of college, she is working again, as an accountant and catering manager of a local restaurant, of all things. Although she had to give up her dream of theatre technical work, which she had been pursuing in Wisconsin, she loves her new job and co-workers.
Aubrey and Mike have been engaged for almost a year, and pre-engaged for a year before that. He has been wonderful, a real support, and not at all afraid of the health issues involved and ahead of them. I felt Mike proved himself when the initial diagnosis came back as leukemia - which is ISN'T, thank God, but until they found otherwise, it was the most horrible few days of my life - Mike was right there with us, and didn't bat an eye. He just asked, "ok, what next?", and was ready for the challenge. (He graduates from UCSB on Saturday.)

For all the heartache these last two years has held, our lives have been greatly enriched. It really is like a fairy tale... No matter how dark our days may be, there is always another day coming, another chance for happiness, if we just hang in there and do the best we can!
God bless all of you, Elizabeth

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You and your daughter have been truly blessed. It is amazing how well things can fall into place. It sounds like your daughter has a lovely future to look forward to with her fiance and that is such a blessing in itself. Enjoy your cruise and live it up with the girls!!
    4174 days ago
    I hope you enjoy these parties leading up to the wedding. Your daughter seems very special to everyone and God above. She is in really great hands on earth and above. I will continue to keep your family members in my thoughts. I pray your daughter has her fairytale wedding and eveyone enjoys it. Ignore the in-laws I have learned they are not worth the dirt they walk on in cases where they interfere like the MIL is trying to.
    4175 days ago
    I EDITED my blog to make clear that my daughter WASN'T diagnosed with leukemia, but that it was suspected (because of the problems with her bone marrow function). I am sorry for any confusion! (When I was 19, my Mom died of cancer after suffering horribly, so cancer is a very scary scenerio for me.)
    4176 days ago
  • DAYB123
    Wow this is like a mixed blessing for sure! Although I am sorrowful to hear about your only daughter's leukemia diagnosis, I am also thrilled that God has blessed her with such a loyal and loving young man to support her emotionally and physically.

    My advice to you: go on your cruise, live it up, and love your only daughter like there is no tomorrow! It sounds as if you have been very blessed to have a husband as involved and supportive in your care and in your children's lives, and that Aubrey has chosen wisely and followed her Mama's example in selecting her own mate.

    Your entire family and the family of Aubrey's betrothed will be in my thoughts and prayers over the coming weeks and months. I know that this wedding has consumed a great deal of your energy for the last several weeks, and I am hoping that this continues to be a positive stressor in your life. If, at any point, it becomes a source of negative energy in any way, I pray that you will step back and take your own health and psyche into consideration. I realize that this is a time of excitement for everyone involved, and I am so happy for you that you are enjoying this "fairy tale" part of yours and your daughter's lives.

    God Bless you, Elizabeth.
    Love, Davina
    4176 days ago
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