Thursday, January 14, 2016
So I had an appointment with a new doctor's office yesterday, because after many years without insurance, I finally signed up, so that I could address some of the issues I have been stubbornly, ignoring...I however have a mental block that I have had for several years, since living an area that I had lived for 15 years. I can not bring myself to be open minded about this new area that I am now in. I hardly feel comfortable, but press on everyday with hopes that I will lose this mental block. And with that said, I did get some new meds for pain, I will pick up tomorrow, since I didn't exactly think this appointment through and only had the means to pay for the copay. Its been a rough patch since my job was terminated, and I only managed a part time job at the new job. Didn't realize my hours would go down to 12, I should have just stayed unemployed for longer. Its a bit rough when your passion is "seasonal" spring trough fall. I will work on the resume, and continue to look again or at least something to go with my part time, till the job I have turns fulltime.
This has caused my latest mental block. I am constantly worrying about having enough money. Ugh. I feel as though I am the dog chasing its tail! Because in spite of being excited to have health insurance, 2 things remain, I have not found a doctor I am comfortable with and all the testing, x rays and physical therapy; they have recommended, I can not afford. I certainly hope the meds help get the pain under control, so my mood will lift. I need to be able to put myself first, with out feeling I am taking from the family. Believe me this isn't a pity party, this is a real gnaw at me everyday thoughts! Today I have tried to push it aside, I got dressed and came to the library so that I could use my laptop. As I will work on my mental blocks, and redo my resume. I continue to make strides with our healthy eating, which I am very proud of. We need to get more constant with the gym. I think we lose our motivation because we aren't seeing the rock hard abs yet. LOL.... I see less love handles though.