The Trials of Tracking in Toddler Town
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Here she comes...her with those sticky little fingers. She's going to take one of my cucumbers. I know she is. Yep, there it goes-the nerve! Oh and another...then another...will the assault never end? Not to be left out, he has to get in on the action too. He walks over with far more boldness than she could ever muster...then, with a teasing grin, he picks up my sandwich and takes a HUGE bite, wipes off his mouth with the back of his sleeve and grabs a grubby fistful of my cucumbers as well. Meanwhile, I glance over to see she's drinking my water...again. What is this? A conspiracy? Sabotage? Who do they think they are to think they could just walk over and take my meticulously weighed and measured-already tracked and entered-much needed because I'm absolutely starving-food?
Who does that?!?!?! Let me tell you. My one-yr-old daughter and my 4-yr-old son...thieving little saboteurs! Well, at least that is what it feels like in the moment. You see, I know part of my success is dependent upon me tracking every bite, and doing so accurately. I've only been back on the wagon for a week (the first time since having children) and it has totally been stressing me out. Don't they know I'm doing this for them as much as I'm doing it for me? I barely have time to eat anyway and then I finally try to shove down a few bites and they are eating my lunch. I know I made them plates...yes, there they are, completely untouched...untouched while mine keeps disappearing. I find myself racing in an effort to get as much of it eaten as I can before they begin circling like vultures.
At least this is how I felt and what I did, until today.
Today, I realized they have no secret desire to keep mommy fluffy so she's a softer pillow. They have no plan to keep me fat so I can't catch them. They don't even trip me on purpose while I'm trying to work out. They just want to do what they have always done...eat off mommy's plate because they want to be like mommy...because they want to be with mommy, and for the first time, mommy is feeding them and herself better than she ever has before. For the first time, mommy can be really proud of the example she is setting. So today, I decided, I'm not going to stress about it anymore. I am going to allow them to help themselves to my healthy food. I'm not going to go back to my tracker and reduce it by what they eat. I'm not going to go and get more because of what they eat. They are helping me to eat less. If I get hungry, I'll get a snack later. If I need a cough drop, I'm not going to stress about tracking it. If my 1-yr-old sweetly and insistently (seriously, fingers like vice grips) force feeds me a few skittles, I'm not going to sweat it. You know why? Because at the end of the day, I know I'm doing the right things. I know I'm making good choices. I know I have already seen and will continue to see results. The tracking- it's just a guideline to keep me in check-it's not a measure of my success. The ultimate measure of my success will be seeing the pride on their sweet little faces when I reach my goals and become the healthy, fit mommy they deserve despite the trials of tracking in toddler town.