Reining a horse : an allegory
Saturday, January 09, 2016
Yesterday at a meeting a guy used reining a horse as an allegory - his therapeut has told him that he would not ride a horse he did not know without keeping the reins very tight.
That gave me an epiphany - I used to be a riding instructor and before I went to USA to learn natural horsemanship I used the strategy above - a new horse I would ride with very tight reins until I knew the horse better. But after being to that basic course in natural horsemanship 1995 I changed my attitude - after that I asked the horse for permission before I mounted. That means that I observed the horse, because horses tell you a lot of things all the time if you care to watch and listen. And some days I would not ride at all, even though it was a horse that I had ridden many times before - but it told me loud and clear that it was jittery and not to be trusted that day...
And thanks to twelvestep program this is a strategy I use more and more with people nowadays. Instead of barging in and assuming that things are the way I think they are - I listen and try to understand where the other person is. One of the nicest compliments I ever got was from at friend of mine that has worked with me - she said: "Since you talk a lot one might suspect that you don´t listen, but that is wrong, you really listen a lot and you make me feel that I have interesting things to say..."
I do love to listen to people that has something to say. Unfortunately that is not the case with everyone, but I have become a lot better not to judge too quickly, even when people jabber about kind of boring things, I do try to figure out what it really is about. And I will not tighten the reins and try to control them, I will live and let live...
I got another assignment yesterday - we had a meeting with theater and decided to give an easter play - easter is early this year, at the end of march and we (=I) am supposed to write the basic dialogue during next week... exciting! And hard!