Can you forget how to dream?
Sunday, January 03, 2016
I started my holiday season with a phone call from my boss, my store will be closing at the end of January. I turned my mind away from that, and got ready to head into the busy shopping season. As the season wore on it became obvious to our customers that we just were not getting new stock, and the questions began... This past week the official signs went up, and now the customer questions really start. We are a small store, in a small area with a very regular following so we know our customers by name, and they know us. The biggest question is "what will I do once we close?" Honestly the only answer I can come up with is I guess look for another job at the mall. What else would I do?
At one time I had goals. Things I wanted to learn, experience, visit. Why can I not remember any of them. Why, if I stop to think about a next step, am I left with a big black hole in my mind? I could take some time for one of my hobbies, but aside from reading, I don't have any anymore. I could spend more time with my friends, wait I haven't really kept in touch with anyone for almost 15 years.
My free time at home is usually taken up with projects for work. I'm one of those who goes in several hours early and stays several hours late. It's just what I do. How do I even begin to change that. Where do I go during my down time? I realize I have become the poster child for anti social. I'm fine when I am working, but I can't deal with people on a personal level.
So how to find a direction? How can you bring back the dreams that faded into oblivion years ago? I've never been one to keep a journal or Diary so I can't even go back and look at some of those. For now I guess, let the job search begin, and lets just hope I find something so I don't have to contend with free time.