Whatdidja get for Christmas? Fat :) I got fat! (and I regret nothing!)
Sunday, December 27, 2015
The me in the mirror full of vim, vigor, and chipper one-liners exercises for the sheer love of it. She likes to get coated in a gruesome slick of sweat and pant like the Hulk or some other raw and masculine super hero. She is visceral and vivid and thinks bruises are pretty.
Then there is the first-person perspective of the girl peering over her vast belly and somewhat dirty sweatpants, splayed on the couch and covered in a thin dusting of food debris. She loathes and fears exercise, preferring instead the jolly and rolly hollering of a fat Christmas spirit with wine-red cheeks and no unguarded flatulence.
I am both of these exuberant women. I can thrill to the juggling of Ben & Jerry's in my ice box, or hum a daring theme song as I lace up for a workout. I used to think I had to choose one or the other, but they are the extremes of my carnal life and the real Aubrey simply strikes the balance between them.
Either one is fully and completely engaged with her body, enjoying and exploring the life of an incarnate being. They are the spectrum of embodiment. I, as Aubrey, am even greater than that spectrum--though I often pretend to only be a dot somewhere along the line. I am not either Fit or Fat. I am Aubrey.
And now that I have had lunch and a nice snack of candy, I will put on some good music and workout clothes and go grab a stationary bicycle at the gym. And then I will have kale and ice cream for dinner.