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Depression and healthy living 12/9/15

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

My depression is inert. It is not so that I want to lay around motionless and numb, it is that I don't want anything. I lack. I stop. I could stop eating but I don't. I sit and push food at my face--no, not food. Ingredients. Items. Never meals, that would require care. And so I gain. Let me be clear that if I were to do the opposite, to continue my stillness by eating nothing, I would still be harming myself. If I were to lose weight due to my depression I would not be proud. Healthy Living is not just a shift from one set of numbers to another. It is a self-awareness and an internal schematic of boundaries and needs. My schematic is not yours. My schematic has a regular crop of depression that has to be endured and perhaps treated medically if traditional tactics fail. I already know own what to do, but Christ it is hard. I need to keep biking. I stopped again because my lights are out, so I need to fix that and resume. I need to prepare lunch for work. I need to write. I need to wash regularly - - or semi regularly. I need to keep going through the motions if healthy living with regular exercise, sleep, good food, no booze on weekdays, and loads of water. Eventually they will gain traction and I will feel a little better. Eventually.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CANES4EVER63
    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. Have you tried writing down 3 positive things each day? I've never been depressed, but I've had down days. I find it helps. Maybe it can help you. A checklist might help you get things done as well. I love feeling accomplished and ticking something off of that list helps me feel like I've done something.
    1041 days ago
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