Life in recovery, day #3
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Hello. I am new , very new to OA, and to be honest, slightly scared. I joined the OA team today. I think about going to meetings, but as we all know, work takes it out of me, and the meetings are on Wednesday, where I am usually dealing with youth group, and dinner, and homework. I think I will stay on-line for now and try meetings in December. It’s not a new concept. When I was in college, a friend introduced me to a OA lady, but I never went to a meeting. My struggles continued, and in the decade following that, I added drugs and alcohol to the mix. I became pregnant, and stopped all substances. Over the two decades that followed, I stayed clean from drugs and alcohol, parenting three kids, and have a successful career, but my weight and the issues surrounding it continued to climb. IN 2011, I decided that I would take care of it, and really began to focus on it. I have lost 30 pounds since then, but mostly it's been the same 10 lbs over and over. I have a great program, for both exercise and food, I have a supportive medical team, including an addictions therapist but I continue to fall. I don't know how OA works. I declared myself in recovery two days ago, and set some food boundaries, which I broke yesterday. Yesterday, I had a plan. I had my meals planned. I went to a football game, and was surrounded by hot dogs, and pretzels, and pizza and hot chocolate, and all stuff that I have decided is not for me .but I just keep thinking about my plan. The game went long ( 28-27, victory was ours, my son played well and we advance on to the next round of state) and I came home famished. Dinner was in the crock pot, but not quite ready. SO I ate. It's the first time I have binged in-front of my kids, in that uncontrolled, shove anything in the mouth way. So today is a new day, and I am shaking it off, but my question is, do I start my count over? Can I still say I am in recovery? Looking through the team posting, I found a check list to help with abstinence. I think I will use it at the end of the day.
1)Have I been abstinent today?
2)Did I pray and meditate today?
3)Am I working towards a healthy body weight?
4)Did I rely on my God to get or stay abstinent today?
5)Is what I am currently doing working for me to remain abstinent?
6)If I am having problems have I asked someone else what they are doing?
7) Have I made an OA call today?
8)Did I have an attitude of gratitude today?
9)Did I plan my food today?
10)Have I helped someone else today?
11)Did I have an action plan in place to stay abstinent today?
12) Do I have a sponsor and am I working the Steps with that person?